


Have you met me? - or - Back again...

by Paradigmenwechsel



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Minor Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradigmenwechsel/pseuds/Paradigmenwechsel
Summary: Meeting the actors, meeting the Winchesters becomes a completely new Definition.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, not native Speaker - still learning, a looooooot of mistakes of any Kind ahead....

Have you met me??? – or – Back again…… SPN FF

“Jack!! Man, there you are!” Jared fast walked over, grabbing his friend on his arm.  
“We’re late….” The dark blond hesitated and looked a bit irritated at the other actor who was smiling amused at this gesture.  
“Late night yesterday hm?” Jared went on, while his cast mate was looking around in confusion.  
Jared just shook his head, guiding the older one along as he walked them both to the waiting car.  
“By the way what’s with the outfit? You’re cosplaying today?” Jared chuckled at that thought, still eyeing the dark blond by his side.  
“Man you’re so done. Misha need to stop this invitations while we work.” Again the younger one shook his head and pushed Jensen into the backseat before stepping in himself.

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam yawned, stretching his large limbs, throwing one arm and one leg on the body next to him.  
He got a deep unpleased growl in response and Sam looked at the other man who was obviously still trying to sleep.  
The younger Winchester grinned at that. Dean wasn’t one to get up early, never was.  
His brother always has been more of a nightowl.  
Sam patted on the blanket where the other hunters bud was supposed to be and got up, stretching his whole body this time, walking of to the men of letters community bath.

The dark haired yawned and popped his neck on the bunker hallway as Cass was strolling by on his way to the kitchen.  
“Hello Sam?”  
The younger hunter smiled immediately. “Morning Cass.”  
“Was it a pleasant night?” The angel asked out of the social rules he had picked up while living with the hunters even though he was still missing the understanding of the right words.  
Sam hesitated shortly, but used to the “normal” amount of awkwardness of their celestial companion, he just answered.  
“Yes Cass it was a ‘pleasant’ night.”  
The Angel nodded, either satisfied with this answer or deciding that it was enough communicating for now. He simply walked on, no longer paying attention on the hunter in his short and T-shirt.  
Sam looked after the Angel and shook his head, amused smiling. It was a strange habitual procedure they’d worked out since they’d finally sealed their bound. It was a good tho, just strange, Sam thought still looking after the third ‘Wheal’ who would put on more stability at all of their connection.  
The tall hunter smiled a bit wider, thinking about the Angels definition of the third wheal, and moved on to his morning routine.

Castiel how ever turned to Sam’s room instead of heading straight to the kitchen, which had become kind of the first place of the day to sit together and just get ready for the day, or night, depending on the things they were on.  
The blue eyed celestial being opened the door without hesitation. The; “…man knock..!!!....”, Rule Dean had set up after getting disturbed more than once in his, so called; “private time”, was gone since ‘private time’ didn’t only involved him alone anymore.  
The dark blond was peacefully snoring, buried deep within the huge blanket.  
In contrast to his sleeping habits on the road where he was like a soldier always on the edge and ready to get up, within the bunker Dean seemed to feel save and relaxed enough to let go of some of his caution. Castiel watched in fascination the only visible sign of the human, the short dark blond hair sticking out beneath the fabric.  
The Angel stepped closer, listening to his humans sleeping sounds. Cass liked that part of his fathers creation the most, the way they were able to rest and recharge, it was something he loved to witness. The way the tiny atoms and molecules vibrates while the bio chemistry of the system that was a human started working over night, building up, rebuilding and breaking down every thing that was needed, was a miracle in it’s self and the Angel loved watching it.  
It reminded him on the greatness and thoughts his father had put together to create these fragile but strong Livings.  
And the Winchester brothers, for sure were his favourites of all of them, even though Cass loved the humans in general.

The dark haired took his time but finally walked over to wake up his first human.  
It had been new and interesting to see Sam waking up his brother after they had spend the first night together. The younger one had bent over and kissed Deans cheek. Cass had watched this in confusion. He wasn’t foreign to kissing, after the porn incidents and Meg and his night with the reaper but he’d never knew that this wasn’t just used at times of intercourse or implying some interest in doing that. It was fascinating to see it was used as a reminder of closeness, of calming and caring as well. The Angel liked that very much and since that time he tried to use this meaning of a kiss more often, not always hitting the appropriate time but he was getting better, he thought. And as it comes to the morning greeting Castiel already knew how and when to use this properly.  
Jared had explained it quite detailed as the Angel had asked if he could have that too, and had confused the two hunters once again.  
Dean at first hadn’t been fond of Cass trying this kind of greeting on him at any possible time but after laying out the rules Dean got more comfy and pleasant with it. Now it had become a somehow daily ritual. 

Cass closed the last gap between himself and the kingsize bed the brothers had somehow managed to get into the small room. 

\-----------------------

“DEAN!!!!!....” The yelling was loud and clear and only seconds later Sam stormed in. Castiel turned at the younger human in irritation since the hunter sounds alarmed.  
Dean had almost leaped up at the call.  
Now he was staring at the scene in disbelieve.  
Sam focused on his brother as he revealed what had happened.  
“WHEre back again!!” He got out in anger……….

End part one


	2. Chapter 2

Part two

Dean was still staring, still confused. Since when did Jared where shorts on set, why was Misha around, he wasn’t on the list today?  
“What?” Was all the dark blond actor could get out.  
Sam grimaced, he knew that Dean needed a moment to process, especially that early in the morning. But there was not time to wait for that they were in trouble.  
“Concentrate!” The younger Winchester got a bit louder to help Dean focus.  
“Remember this awkward world Balthazar zapped us in?!... No Magic strange Actors, the TV-Show based on our live?!” Sam tried.  
Jensen rubbed his eyes….. “Yeah….what season was that again?” He still wasn’t awake and his thoughts a bit confused.  
Had he fallen asleep, on set? He questioned in disbelieve but every sign pointed in this direction, damn he was really getting old.  
Jensen looked back at his Cast mates.  
Again, why was Jared in shorts? What scene was that anyway? The actor hold his head, he felt like he had a black out.  
He shouldn’t have gone with Misha last night.  
Now Sam was grabbing his brothers shoulders, the older one didn’t seem his self right now…  
“HEh, you’re ok?” The taller hunter asked worried.  
“….yeah…guess, maybe a bit ….off…” Jensen mentioned as he finally looked up at the grey, green that were Jareds eyes.  
“What scene is it?..........” He asked the other actor who looked at him in complete lack of understanding. “What are you talking about?” Sam asked back and Castiel looked at the scene increasingly suspicious.  
“Dean?...” The deep gravy voice wasn’t warning or alarmed but serious.  
Jensen turned, again looking confused.  
“Are we already shooting……?” He whispered at the older one, looking around for the crew that should be there but wasn’t.  
The Angel tilted his head in question and Sam stepped in again, letting his brothers shoulders go.  
“What is your name?” The hunter sounded serious all of a sudden.  
“What?!” Jensen looked at the other actor amused and confused at the same time.  
“Whats my name?...... Do you have a stroke?” He joked slightly.  
“Just say it ok….” Sam was a bit more aggressive than he wanted to be but if he was right they really were in trouble.  
“Jensen….?!” The dark blond actor stated, still confused.  
Sam got up and stepped a view steps back. That sounded about right as far as the hunter could recall the names they had in this strange world…..  
“Sam?” Castiel felt that he was missing something here.  
“Cass do you remember the time as you were…..ahm…….the time you were working against Rafael?” Sam asked and the Angel nodded maybe a bit ashamed, reminded on one of his betrayals on the brothers.  
“You remember that Balthazar had send us into some weird place, another world or something like that……?” Again Castiel nodded.  
Now Sam turned at their winged friend, slightly nodding.  
“Well apparently, we’re back…” The Angels brows furrowed.  
“That is not the bunker……!” Sam stated, gesturing at the scenery around them.  
“How…?” Castiel questioned.  
“You tell me..” Sam gave back.  
“….Is this a payback for me sleeping in or what…..?” Jensen, who had just watched till now, decided to end this stupid play.  
“I mean, are you done? I get it…..not sleeping on set….got it…..” The actor rolled his eyes and made a move to get up.  
He stopped as he pulled aside the blanket.  
He was still in his sleeping wear, and under no circumstances he would get to set in this.  
And there was no crew around, a plus considering his current clothing.  
Jensen slowly looked up at the two other men. There was something really wrong here, it dawned.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

“Man, what’s up with you?” Jared looked suspicious and still a bit amused.  
“You’ve been strange with the fan’s. You’re really ok?”  
“I mean, you need a break or something…?”  
“NO….” Dean growled back and Jared lifted his hands in defence.  
His Cast mate seemed really of today.  
Jared thought about texting Misha to blame him for Jensen current state.  
He had experienced the older one in bad mood before but this was something else for sure.

Dean looked around suspiciously, always an eye at his back expecting an attack at any moment. He needed to find Sam and Cass and get out of this nightmare as fast as possible.  
He had thought conventions were horrible in their world but this here was insane.  
And every one was commenting on his cloth. What the hell was wrong with it.  
Dean didn’t like all of what was going on, but he and this Sam impersonator were followed around at any time and he couldn’t find a way out up until now.  
The hunter felt uncomfortable since he had been presented on a small stage, in front of a microphone, supposed to answer some awkward questions he would never ever have thought of.  
Luckily the tall impersonator had done most of the talking but still, Dean felt like a Zoo Animal, some rare species on a tablet.  
He hated it. As a hunter they were used to fly under the radar, hide into shadows and not to be presented in spotlights. Which were annoying by the way, Dean thought, again looking for an exit.  
And again unsuccessfully, he was pulled on his arm, again, pushed in front of a blue curtain with a huge line of females standing next.  
The hunter was completely lost. What was expected now??? Well at least the girls looked nice but somehow possessed as well…….., he realised.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was still sitting on the prop that was Dean’s bed….. Well not exactly he realised, none of the guys had such a huge bed in the room. That was weird.  
Sam and Cass had positioned themselves in front of the actor who seemed somehow unfaced by the events. More irritated and confused than alarmed or worried.  
Not so unusual in a world were that kind of stuff was nothing more than a story written by someone.  
But Sam was alarmed. Last time they had an Angel at their heels, and one of those who wanted to kill the brothers.  
The younger Winchester had asked Castiel but their heavenly ally was as lost as the hunter. He had looked the surrounding but only to realise himself that all of this around wasn’t real.  
At least he hadn’t lost his left Angel Skills. Sam had realised it as well with a slight relief.  
Castiel had also found some fitting cloth the younger hunter had asked for.  
Only Jensen was still left in his night short and shirt.  
Neither the Angel, nor the Hunter wanted to risk loosing this Dean impersonator till they tried to figure out what had happened and what they were thrown in this time.  
They maybe would need the guy sooner or later.

End part two


	3. Get them all together

Part three (Get them all together…..)

One woman had dragged him into a room with some other impersonators and Dean wouldn’t have realised it if he wouldn’t have known that most of them were actually dead. It took him a lot of restrain to not attack the guy that looked exactly like the brit. Men of letter sociopath, this Ketch, that had played them.  
And Gabriel was there, accompanied by god and somehow best buddying with him.  
Dean felt sick about this world and it got even worse as he excused himself for a moment to get some fresh air and bumped into Cass in as he walked out the room.  
The Angel was wearing a dark leather jacket fitting to his dark blue jeans and a black shirt with grey sculls. Dean didn’t realise himself staring at this new cover. But it only lasted a second to remind himself of the doucheback that hat played their ally. What was his name again….. M… ma….mash….masha… It didn’t sounded right but who was Dean to care this guy…….. That moment Dean hesitated in his thoughts…….  
This guy was supposed to be dead. He was killed the last time they had been thrown into this universe.  
There was something wrong…..  
This wasn’t their universe, not even the other one they had visited. Dean was close to despair that was so much above his mind that it hurt.  
“Jackles…..” Misha greeted, smiling at the younger one.  
But Dean didn’t react and just stepped aside leaving as fast as possible. This maybe was his only chance. There was no one around who was looking after him. And the hunter had figured on the way to this awkward place to keep, an exit away from the mass of fans…..  
The hunter shuddered still thinking on the Photo-sessions he had to participate in earlier.  
Strangers touching him and talking to him on his last nightmares the hunter tries to forget.  
Dean had smiled as much as possible and the hugs felt good tho….  
He shuddered that was nothing he would want to do for a living…….

A group of girls walked along the floor, chatting and laughing and Dean withdraw and hide in a small corner between two entrances to one of the hall’s that were used today.  
He stayed a bit longer as the group was gone, just to be sure.  
The hunter looked on the blue phone he had stolen from this worlds Sam version.  
He wasn’t sure about the colour of the case.  
Bright blue was just awkward, Dean thought, imagining his brother using this.  
It was about time. The dark blond had listened to the other men in the room and figured in horror that there was another stage appearance planed. Right after ‘god’ and ‘gabriel’ it was expected for him and the cheap Sam version to do something that was called a panel.  
Well Dean didn’t know what that meant but he was sure he wouldn’t participate in it…….  
The hunter listened as this Gabriel Version was throwing a Joke and ‘god’ countered.  
Dean smiled at the comment, actually he could get used to this combo he thought, stepping out of his hiding spot and heading for the fire exit.

\--------------------------  
Half an hour later Dean was on the road again. He had almost jumped in joy finding Baby at the parking lot. But of course, he had realised, not his but good enough.  
And even this surrogate Baby was enough to calm the hunter.  
He knew he needed to get rid of this beauty sooner or later but for know it gave a warm feeling of home.  
In their world they had seen at least four cars at this convention they were fooled in.  
Here it was only one the hunter had seen so far.  
And Dean felt a bit offended about that. His baby was part of him, a beauty beyond believe and definitely deserved way more attention.

\---------------------------

Dean was driving one more hour before he decided to stop and orientate himself because something was damn sure. They weren’t in Kansas anymore…  
The dark blond found a parking lot away from the main street he had used to get distance between himself and this convention circus as fast as possible.  
He activated the blue smartphone. It was locked but Dean tried one of his brother’s favourites. And surely enough the screen lit up.  
“Not so different at all….” Dean mentioned already looking up the gps data and the maps.  
Again he was stranded in Vancouver, what was it with this country, to always end up here.  
He sighed.

But he finally was alone and could calm down a bit.  
The hunter closed his green eyes and started praying. To the only heavenly creature he would pray to.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam was still trying to figure out what to do with this Dean look a like as Cass all of a sudden turned his face looking into distance.  
“What?” Sam asked alarmed.  
“Dean is calling.” The Angel stated deadpan.  
“So he is here,…….than go!” Sam got out.  
And within a blink the dark haired man in the beige coat was gone.  
Jensen stared at the now empty point and his eyes widened. This wasn’t real, this guy, this misha……….had just disappeared.  
He had vanished into thin air, he was gone………..  
And finally Jensen was aware that this wasn’t Jared still sitting in front of him and that the one who had vanished a sec ago definitely wasn’t Misha even though the actor was known for his strange actions this wasn’t one of them.  
“He……is he…..?” Jensen pointed at the empty spot.  
“……” Jared just watched the actor who looked so damn similar to his brother and also so foreign at the same time.

Just another glimpse later Castiel appeared with the real brother, the hunter Sam knew would always have his back and vise versa. He smiled as Dean arrived.  
Finally they were back together, able to face what ever kind of threat was awaiting them.

The dark blond hesitated as he was confronted with his look alike right in front.  
He slowly stepped near to have a closer look at this.  
It was a weird feeling looking at his own face, his eyes his features that he should know but didn’t from this perspective.  
Jensen leaned back a bit as his character got closer.  
It was so awkward watching Dean moving around staring at him, wearing the hunter’s cloth Jensen was used to wear himself. And he could see this image of him was armed, he could see the 45 emerged beneath the flannel. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment Cass had shown himself, as usual, in the back of the impala Dean had been relieved. Having the Angel around had that effect on him in more than one way.  
He had asked about Sam and again Castiel was able to lift another burden off of the older Winchester by telling him that Sam was fine and safe.  
Dean had smiled into the rear mirror and finally turned. “Hey buddy.” He greeted the Angel.  
“Hello Dean.” The blue eyed nod slightly.  
“Why are you in the back again, the passenger seat is empty.” Dean mentioned the unimportant fact.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Now Jensen was facing the one who was obviously playing him.  
And he wasn’t impressed, not the slightest bit.  
He turned back at his brother.  
“You’re ok?” Sam smiled and nodded.  
Dean got out the phone he had stolen and explained that it was from the Sam look alike he was with, at a convention actually. The hunter rolled his eyes as he stressed out the word.  
Sam chuckled and got a glare from his brother that didn’t stop him from imagining the older one lost in that kind of environment.  
“You wouldn’t laugh if you’d be there. That was insane…. “ Dean complained and Jensen furrowed his brows.  
“HEH……..!!” The Actor didn’t like the way his character was talking about his job and the fans. Jensen just hoped the angry asshole had not been a completely failure. Oh he knew his role and even though he would fight with Dean, he wouldn’t take him as a friend for sure.  
But the actors objection was ignored. He was again watched by the Angel, who Jensen had no doubt anymore, really was one, while Sam and Dean started working on Jared’s phone.

The hunters talked subdued while figuring out the next steps. It was obvious they couldn’t stay here. This was no safe place at all. Just a replacement like every thing else around in this world, Dean looked at his image and bite his teeth like he often does being dissatisfied with something.  
Sam didn’t like were their discussion was about to go. Dean wasn’t willing to accept any other arguments or options and even if he would have, Sam just hadn’t any in mind right now.  
In the End the older one decided for a very stupid idea but there weren’t much other opportunities. They had seen Dean, the real one and for sure they had figured something. And after he had left without saying anything they would be more than suspicious and the Winchesters definitely needed unknown persons tracking and searching after them.

Both hunters turned back at the dark blond actor, still sitting on the prop bed.  
He had listened very carefully and as Dean got closer Jensen shook his head. He wouldn’t do that. No way.  
But Dean just smiled and got even closer holding the blue phone of Jared.

“No! I’m not calling them!” Jensen pointed, starring right into his own face, that was so ridiculous…..., he thought, still not processing the real threat here.  
And how could he, facing his own character Jensen had played for 13 Years, the other person he was basically grown up with from his youth to being a grown up with family and kids.  
That was something you would laugh about under different circumstances, right?  
But Dean was stressed enough about the situation they were in right now.  
The hunter had enough of this bullshit. Dean draw his gun and showed it his look alike, also offering the bright blue phone.  
And just in case the guy hasn’t understand it yet, he hold it closer, a warning in his view and the unspoken question between them.  
“You gonna make the call?”  
Jensen didn’t react for a moment and it was a weird second. Both versions seemed to battle, trying to figure out how far the other one was willing to go.  
Sam and Cass were watching that scene, the younger Winchester worried, the Angel with interest.  
Finally the actor took the phone.  
Both, Dean and Jensen shrugged slightly as the mobile was buzzing right than.  
Jensen looked at the display which showed the nickname Jared had saved Misha’s number and name under.  
The dark blond actor hesitated.  
Again, Dean and his surrogate in that world were measuring each other. This time Dean smiled and shook his head, warning the other man to not follow his idea of tricking them.  
“Who’s this?” Dean gestured at the display, his gun still in hand.  
This time Jensen gnawed on his cheek and Dean lifted his gun a bit to underline his warning.  
“….a colleague…” The actor stated angrily.  
The hunter in front of him smiled. “Which one?” He asked with his creepy smile still on and gesturing at Castiel and Sam.  
Jensen lowered his view. Dean could see him through, of course, this guy was the part the actor had created in his mind and along the scripts to the show.  
Jensen didn’t answer, he just pointed with a slight nod at Castiel.  
“….Well, than……” Dean gestured at the phone, remembering the other man that he was holding a gun and that he better behave.  
Finally Jensen accepted the call and talked to Misha, but not before Dean had activated the speaker so they could listen as well.

“……misha…..ah….hey buddy…..” Jensen hesitated.  
“Jensen?? NO man it’s me!” Jared’s voice came through the speaker. He didn’t sound pissed or angry, more worried and a bit offended.  
“Did you took my phone!?”  
“………ah….sorry dude I had a…… There was something going on I had to go and the ….thing the…. My phone went off. Sorry.” The actor stumbled himself through his lies he was making up since there was still a gun pointing at him.  
Sam was looking around in this incomplete room, he was now wondering how they could think it was the real bunker. The hunter was looking for some piece of paper.  
Dean gestured with his gun for Jensen to move on by circling it in the air next to the actor.  
Jensen didn’t like the hunters handling the weapon at all.  
There was a short hesitation before Jared reacted.  
“…you could have told me…..you know….. Are you ok?....Is something with JJ or the twins…?” Now the other actor did sounded really worried and Jensen had a sec, struggling with his emotions being remembered on his family.  
But he wasn’t the only one reacting. Dean was hit by surprise hearing about a family and three kids.  
He stared in surprise at the other guy and so did Sam.  
That wasn’t something they hadn’t thought about, but sure, it was a possibility in this world but it made things way more complicated.  
“…..no..NO their fine…. Still on vacation….” Jensen hurried to state that the family was away enough to be no threat at all. He didn’t told that to Jared, more to the armed creeps around him. If any, the actor would hold these assholes away from his family, no matter the cost, and even if he could not avoid dragging his cast mates into it, he would not sell his kids and wife for sure.  
“…You need something?” Jared went on, not really calmed but a bit less nervous, maybe.  
“…Yeah…..ahm….”  
Now Sam held up a paper he had written some stuff on and waved it to get the Actors attention, gesturing for the captive to read it.  
Jensen read the ‘script’ and he wasn’t happy about.  
“..heh, ah…Jared if you’ve got some time afterwards do you mind coming around, I could need some company and talk stuff……..”  
This awkward formulation left Jared silence for a sec, and this made Dean a bit more suspicious, but as the younger man at the other side of the line goes on he calmed himself.  
“yeah man, sure……” Jared stated as there was a voice in the background, deeper and more worried than Jareds.  
There was a short communication on the other side and than Jared went back on.  
“Misha is coming too, that’s ok buddy?” Jensen hesitated. He’d hoped that they could left the oldest out for now, that would have left someone able to get the police somehow.  
Misha was smart, he would either get the police or create enough irritation when showing up that they might could have fleet. But if he would come around with Jared he would be trapped as well.  
Dean smiled and Sam gestured at his short notice to get both men here.  
Jensen sighed unheard.  
“Sure, …… I was planning to talk to him too anyway………. I’m at set right now, we met at my trailer……?” It was the last question and Jensen sounded broken, trapping his friends in like that.  
Jared confirmed and immediately Dean hung up and turned the phone off getting it out of the actors hand. Jensen was glaring at the hunter.  
“Don’t take it personal…” Was all Dean had to say, walking to his brother handing him the phone and putting away his weapon.  
“Our guest just invited us to his trailer, guess we’re moving…” The older Winchester somehow chimed while humiliating his other self with his comments.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean was a bit disappointed seeing the trailer, last time he had been in such a thing there was an aquarium and a toy helicopter, this was just a small room with dark wood panels. At least there was a big screen to watch some TV.  
But he was disappointed and he told the actor that, again deliberately trying to offend the other dark blond.  
Sam had realised how Dean was reacting a bit differently than usual. Facing a version of himself somehow incited his inner rage, he generally used against itself.  
Still for now the younger Winchester did not interfere, hoping it wouldn’t get out of hand just now.

The Angel, the two hunter and one actor were waiting. In a trailer they had broken in since it had been locked while no one, except some prop workers were around.  
They had successfully surrounded the main working areas and some places were sometimes guides take place. And since the inner bunker scenery was an inside build it was just a short walk around the place.  
Cass had taken care that they didn’t walk into anyone and Dean had handled his look alike, pushing and pulling him around on their way to the trailer, which Jensen had shown them.

Sam was sitting at a small table close to the functional kitchen counter, closer to the door and the small hall that would lead in any ‘guests’ without seeing him right away. Jensen was positioned on one of the two armchairs at a small right alcoven, also slightly hidden from first views while Dean sat down on the beige couch group on the left.  
He would be seen right away and probably lure the other actors further in without getting suspicious till Sam would block the way out the moment their look alike’s would be in far enough.

But for now they were just waiting. Castiel was considered to have a seat next to Jensen but the Angel was strolling the confined space of the trailer, looking at most of the cupboards and drawers. But neither of the hunters seemed to care, while Jensen constantly had to bury the urge to tell the man to stop that…..  
Sam got himself a water from the fridge and throw another one over to his brother who was figuring out the TV control.  
Even thought for this weekend no one was expected the electricity worked just fine.  
Dean catches the bottle and took a big gulp out of it, he hadn’t realised how thirsty he had been the whole time. Dean suddenly wondered how long they actually had been here compared to there own world.  
Cass was still wandering around, and every time he passed the actor he watched him curious. And it felt a bit weird Jensen had to admit.  
He decided that he was happy that Misha actually had more than this one behaviour layer the Angel was generally showing but he get why Dean was feeling comfortable with it.

Finally Dean figured out the control and was changing channels as Sam leaned back on his counter chair and asked about where Dean had been and how this world was like since he and Cass hadn’t left the filming area yet.  
“So, convention?” Sam asked and Dean turned at him with a face speaks volumes, and none of them seemed satisfying.  
The green eyed hunter started telling some of the encounters there and the differences of what they had once experienced in their own world.  
Jensen listened for some time but he didn’t comment on the offending story’s the hunter was telling. Obviously he hadn’t understand what had going on there.  
The actor tried to focus on something else to not need to listen to the explanations the dark blond by now was completely making up……, only to underline the feeling of discomfort he had felt there. Jensen knew that he wouldn’t invite Dean Winchester to anything like convention or other social interaction based events. The hunter just wasn’t fit to work around in situations like that.

\-------------------------

Approximately 4 hours later Castiel signalled that there were people approaching and the hunters and the Angel positioned themselves. Dean laid his pointing finger on his lips, gesturing the actor to keep silent. And to underline that, the hunter moved his other hand to his back where his gun was secured.

“Jensen?!” Jared called the moment he opened the Trailer door and moved in, Misha right behind him but he was looking left an right a bit suspiciously.  
Dean lifted his head and hand, waving at the two strangers as the headed into his direction.  
“Hy….” He mentioned and immediately Jared grimaced confused and amused on that odd reaction.  
But he didn’t mind getting closer to greed the older friend again and to listen what had happen that left him leaving the Vancon that fast and with the stolen phone.

The hunters intention of each of their position worked.  
While the actors were focused on Dean sitting on the couch group and getting into view first, Sam and Jensen couldn’t be seen. Castiel had used his mojo to hide from human eyes and positioned himself behind his look alike who had closed the door already.

Jared walked right at Dean and pulled him into a tight hug, he didn’t even realised Sam behind the counter at the small ‘kittchen’ place were he was lowered down.  
The moment Misha entered the space at the trailer that was used like a living room, Sam got up and pointed his gun at the group, Castiel showed himself behind all the men in the short hallway, blocking the exit and Dean stepped away, out of this awkward embrace, pulling his gun as well.  
He starred at the spitting image of his brother but he also could tell the differences right away.

Jared and Misha starred at their college and than realised the other man to their right sitting on one of the armchairs.  
Now they were confused. There were two Jensens and one was armed.  
The real one grimaced, his lips forming an apology.  
Dean grinned and gestured for the tall one to sit next to the dark blond actor and Jared followed, still completely irritated.  
Misha did try to step back as he realised Sam, who was smiling at him. The actor stopped in his attempt to flee and followed the pointing gun to the couch to sit down himself.  
The moment he did that he realised the Castiel thing right behind and he shrugged at the view of that deadpan face.  
Jared wasn’t minder surprised he turned at Jensen.  
“what……?” But the dark blond didn’t answer. And how could he, Jensen wasn’t sure himself what was going on right now.  
He just mentioned a silent: “Sorry…”, again.

Dean left the place in front of the big TV-Screen to get a better position to control the new three men they had now in “care” as well.

Both hunter knew that neither of that could be told a smart move but they needed to made a decision and that was one made in a hurry.  
Now they had to deal with this somehow……  
They needed another place to stay and one of those guys probably could offer that.

 

End part three


	4. Getting to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but i have figured that writing and grammar and so on got worse and worse but i have to write this one till the end, this is for myself.

Part four (Getting to know…….)

All six of them were staring, it was to weird being in that situation, feeling like watching a mirror were something was off but you couldn’t quit name it.  
Jared’s did understand the threat after Dean had driven them to the apartment complex.  
It really felt like they were on a run.  
The dark blond hunter really scared the tall actor a bit. It felt sitting next to a boiling volcano, ready to erupt at any minute.  
However he didn’t feel like that around the one that was an ideal image of Sam Winchester, the character Jared was playing on the show.  
This guy seemed less aggressive, more thoughtful of his actions. And since he constantly had an eye on the dark blond it also seemed as if he was trying to keep things in ‘acceptable’ verge and not let this get out of hand, something Jared somehow get calmness out of.  
Jared wasn’t so sure about the strange deadpan ‘Angel’ impersonator in the back. This guy seemed like a follower and he obviously was a loyal one, and Jared couldn’t figure out who he was loyal too.  
Also there was another thing that stings the tall actor. He still wasn’t sure if this here was real but he wouldn’t forgive him if he wouldn’t asked some things that he really wanted to asked his character since he couldn’t answer these questions on his own.  
But they were actually kidnapped and it felt strange to start a random communication at that.

Jensen, Misha and Jared sat on the six person dinner table in the first room, carefully watched by the one that looked exactly like Misha while the other two were at the living room after they had checked every spot at the apartment.  
Jensen starred at the table, he was lost in thoughts, Jared glimpsed at him but he couldn’t do anything himself.  
Misha was staring at his Character version. He wasn’t impressed, on the opposite he felt a bit offended watching that thing. Even though he had created it, Misha wasn’t pleased with all the decisions and behaviouristic patterns he had laid out for that Angel character.  
And viewing it now for real, out of a third person prospective showed the Actor the obvious failures he thought he’d imprinted within this role.  
A Role, that wasn’t supposed to stay on for this long.  
Castiel had figured the attention of the human that looked like him.  
And the Angel was tremendously fascinated over that situation as well.  
He had experienced humanity and he was very much interested to know how he would work out a human in general. But something about the man that looked at him with the familiar blue eyes was irritating the Castiel. There was an insecurity the celestial being could only name as weakness and that was unexpected to say it at least.  
Misha turned his view, he wasn’t used to be starred at with such intense, and he didn’t like it. Normally he was the one doing that to get people in line or to stand his ground. The actor wasn’t one to physical attack even though he could but it just wasn’t his personality and there for he had captured other ways of getting over (anxieties) and unknown situations but this here was something else. Misha was somehow swimming, loosing the ground since he had no idea how to react or handle things in this situation.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“What now?” Sam looked over to the impersonators they had in literally kidnapped. He didn’t like that situation at all.  
They were about to paint themselves into a corner here without an emergency exit, it felt like running into a trap. No hunter did like that feeling.  
Dean didn’t seem pleased with what they had got themselves into, either.  
But at least they had a place they could hold better in control while figuring out what to do next.  
Last time they had past the barrier between ‘worlds’ it was because of the Angels and one was right on their heels. But this time there home was quite quiet, none of the hunter could guess of a threat at the moment that might could have the power to throw them into another reality again. There was just no reason………  
Angels were done, more or less, hell hadn’t make any move lately and there hadn’t been any high ranked Demons or organisations hunting the Winchesters. They just couldn’t figure it out.  
Dean also looked over to the three familiar strangers. They already had figured out that this wasn’t the same world they were in years ago.  
There were small but obvious differences and meeting the alternative versions was one of them.  
Again Sam questioned what to do now. But Dean didn’t seem to have an answer as well.  
“Let’s arrange this for now and we’ll see….” Sam furrowed his brows but followed as his brother walked back into, what was supposed the dining room.  
“Obviously we will stay together for some time…..” Dean stated, his tone not allowing any comments at all.  
“Let’s not make it more difficult than absolutely necessary and we will get this cleared perfectly fine.”  
Again the hunter stated, directly locking with his impersonators view. Since this guy did seem like trouble. Sam watched this with interest, he knew Dean wasn’t trusting himself and somehow seeing him starring at his other self like that did show the hunters own suspiciousness, right away.  
And the awkward part was the other dark blond staring back equally threatening.

\-----------------------

It was almost 3am as they had figured out what might be the best way to control the other men at the apartment.  
There were two sleeping rooms, they were connected through a small chamber with a third bed in it, and had a second exit to the corridor which Castiel would walk and have an eye on. And since one of the rooms could be locked to the hall it was logic to hold the three actors right there.  
Sam and Dean decided on the other room to stay in.  
It had been a damn long day or more, slowly the memories seems to blur the longer they stayed in this awkward reality.

Sam mentioned to call it a night as Jensen hesitated. Misha and Jared looking at each other, knowing or guessing what might was the problem.  
They had experienced the dark blond actors anxiety’s, Jensen sometimes really needed his space and it was especially obvious when it comes to sleeping arrangements involving other peoples in the room.

\---------------------

Another hour had past till all of them were finally settled. The brother were still shaken their heads in disbelieve, thinking about this weird day and of course the last discussion.  
Castiel was already walking the hall, he had watched the reorganisation of the sleeping space with interest. It was something he had never witnessed with his humans before and for an  
Angel it was an incomprehensible construct he had no experience with. The blue eyed thought that it might was related to the things Dean had explained to him in early years.  
He did not know that others could distract humans that much when it comes to their need of sleeping. It was something he would hold in mind, next time he would watch his hunters.  
In the end and with the interference of the other actors it was decided to allow the dark blond to have the small chamber between the two sleeping rooms.  
Sam had admit that it wouldn’t be a problem since, and for that he had looked the other Dean directly in the eyes, he wouldn’t do anything wrong right?...

Another discussion had followed as Dean had insisted on tying the other men up to be completely safe. But Sam was able to talk him out of it since they had removed the other guys phones and computers they had around.  
And since Cass would be on guard the whole time Dean was finally convinced to only stay with the locked door and not tying up anyone.

\---------------------

For now Jared, Jensen and Misha where in the big sleeping room, still trying to process what was going on right now.  
Jensen was still irritated about the fact that Jared had told his Vancouver address so easily, allowing these strangers to bring them here and holding them captive in his private place.  
A place, were sometimes his wife and children stayed as well.  
Jensen couldn’t understand how Jared could be so careless at this.

There was family to be protected and for sure he wouldn’t allow any of those guys to come even closer.  
The wished Jared would be more of his business personality at that.  
The one that would think and evaluate his words, this wasn’t a simple fan interaction at all.  
Jensen hesitated, it had been a long time since he had been this angry about the Co-star and it irritated him.

“That is …………” Misha tried but he couldn’t find the fitting words to describe what he had in mind.  
“…..insane…” Jared tried, already listening on the locked door and pulling the handle just to try if it was really closed which of course it was.  
Misha had sat down on one of the white armchairs watching Jareds actions.  
Jensen wasn’t sitting, he leaned against one wall close to the chamber he would sleep in.  
He sighed.  
“Why did you tell them where you lived?”  
It actually was a good question since it wasn’t something Jared would have done in general, all of them were living in this semi popular live-style to know how important it was to protect their private lives and of course family.  
Jared looked at his friend but he didn’t have an answer yet.  
There was just something about this………..Sam, his character? The actor wasn’t sure how to name it, that was keep him relaxed. Although he knew that wasn’t a joke by any means the tall man just couldn’t think of that situation as dangerous, which he definitely knew it was.

“I don’t like him…” Misha suddenly mentioned and got the other cast mates attention.  
“Whom?” Jensen asked.  
“The Dean sunshine asshole, or the emotional dead Angel face…..?” He sounded really pissed giving that out.  
Misha just nodded.  
Actually this time Jared couldn’t say anything against that interpretation.  
But he was more curious about the man that he had played over 12years by now. He wanted to know what this guy was like since Jared thought of this situation as an opportunity.  
“What do we do now….?” Jared shrugged his shoulders as Misha asked.  
“I guess for now, we wait….” Jensen considered very unsatisfied.  
“…..what do you think are they capable of ?” Misha went on and again Jensen and Jared looked at him before the dark blond answered.  
“You mean if they would shoot us?,,,,,,”  
“…..no, …I don’t think so…” Jared guessed but the other two weren’t so sure.  
They had have experienced their roles making questionably decisions at the show, some of them still didn’t make any sense and judging by this, Misha and Jensen weren’t so eager to thrust their safety if they had to rely on this Dean and Cass version.

There was a slashing sound out of the room and a growled and angry Dean reacting on it.  
“WHAT the.. ………..what’S that shidt……..”

Castiel watches as the hunter tried to get rid of some strange, colourful things he had stumbled over.  
Sam had come around right away, watching the child toys that had fallen out of the cabinet, Dean had searched up.  
The dark blond starred at the plastic stuff……..and throw it back in.  
Sam starred at well but definitely for a different reason.  
He hadn’t thought about this possibility. It somehow changed something the hunter thought but didn’t share.  
The younger Winchester hadn’t thought about that till yet, this world’s alternatives were normal people, they had a live, a normal one………  
They could have families. There was sudden uncomfortable feeling Sam couldn’t get rid of while Castiel was still watching as Dean fought with those things he had found, to get them back into place.  
The dark blond was still muttering.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Sam was still laying awake, his arms crossed behind his head. He was listening to the subdued mumbles coming from the other room through the doors between them.  
He couldn’t understand what the actors were talking about but it was weird to hear a voice similar to his and his brothers while they were not talking at all.  
“Dean?” Sam whispered. Not because he didn’t want to wake his brother but because he didn’t want any one else to hear.  
The older one just growled, signs enough that he was still awake as well.  
Dean was laying wide on the right side, he was close to the wall while Sam had chosen the position that was closer to the small chamber door.  
Since they had arrived in this alternative reality and realised it, Dean had been extremely cold, almost repellent. Although this wasn’t something knew to Sam whenever it came to the outside his brother was like that and the younger one could understand that. There wasn’t any worse fear for the dark blond hunter than other finding out what kind of relation he had chosen for his life.  
It wasn’t the killing, it wasn’t the threats, no it was the meaning of others and the judgment he would have to go through if this would become public. Dean was living in roles other had given him and it was only, very slowly that he was starting to figure out his own wishes and needs. But this was ridiculous. Sam turned at his brother who was almost falling off the bed, sliding into the small gab that was left between the wall and the furniture after they had changed the arrangement to have a better overview or escape route.  
Sam rested his head on his hand and looked at his siblings back.  
“Dean?!.........” He tried again, this time a bit more commanding, still whispering.  
“…what?...” The older one hissed back.  
“Dean…common look at me…” Sam mentioned, more gently this time.  
But still it took a moment before Dean turned, looking at his brother in the dark.

“You overreacted….” Sam mentioned calmly, not really expecting any reaction from the older sibling.  
“We should have tied them up…..” Dean finally said.  
“That is not what I meant…” Sam frowned unseen.  
“…………I know……..” The hunter’s voice was silent and a bit apologizing, Sam thought.  
Dean sighed but still didn’t move.  
But Sam took the opportunity to get closer. The older one didn’t seem in a fighting mood.  
He even held still as Sam touched his arm and slowly cuddled his huge body closer.  
Since this was an unknown place in an unknown situation both of them hadn’t taken off any cloth. The hunters just laid there, ready to get up immediately if needed.  
But Sam did not missed the chance to get one hand beneath his brothers shirt, his hand resting close to the other hunters heart, to feel the heartbeat.  
Dean didn’t seem to mind as the younger one nestled his head to the older ones neck.  
“We get this…..” Sam whispered assuring and calming his brother who did seem restless. Meeting himself did have a greater impact Dean was willing to admit.  
“….” Dean didn’t say anything but he grabbed Sam’s hand from above his shirts fabric, slightly squeezing it while Sam kissed his neck.  
It was this moment when Dean thought about his surrogate having troubles with sleeping being with others in a room.  
For a hunter like him, growing up in small, cheap motel rooms, a car the closest what he knew to a home, it shouldn’t be such a big thing but it was and Dean had never told anyone before.  
He hated sharing a room for a long, long time. And as he finally had his room at the bunker he didn’t like anyone around it. Always going to Sam’s room for some movies or talking. Always using the library for common research or discussions and the kitchen and the operation room for anything else, his room was his hiding spot and he just wanted it to be shared.  
It had started in his youth, around the age of 15 maybe 16 when he started struggling with sleep especially with Sammy around.  
Dean grabbed the hand on his heart a bit tighter.  
He had his thoughts why it had started then but he had tried not to look to deep into it.  
It was actually something his brother had taught him…….  
The older Winchester leaned his head on the other one cuddled close to his neck and sighed a last time before closing his eyes and trying to sleep…..

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Castiel was standing at the hall. He had his eyes closed and was listening, listening to the night sounds of this unknown town, this unknown world, this unknown universe and the Creations that lived in it………..  
And he was listening to the images of his humans and him self who were still quietly talking.

Castiel heard his impersonator talking about something he hadn’t expected. And the others joined him on that. They started talking about what they were willing to do to get back to their families. It was an interesting thought for the Angel, a real appealing one. Having a family as an Angel was slightly different than the idea humans have of it but Cass had experienced it both and to think of himself, as a human, being able to have a family of his own was something very fascinating for the celestial being.

\---------------

“Don’t be stupid, there is no way you could compete them…..” Jared mentioned, his brows furrowed and looking at his co-star.  
He knew the other one way to well to not recognise that he had something in mind. And even though Jared would jump right to his friend side, he definitely would prefer not to provoke the other man that seemed to be their characters.  
If only half of what they had acted to on the show within the last years was what those men had experienced in reality than they would be no one you would joke around with like they were used to do around each other.  
“…Jensen….don’t…” While the dark blond actor didn’t looked convinced after Jared had warned him, he was listen to Misha who seemed more than concerned.  
“Just, let’s try to wait this out……..We will be missed sooner or later……….someone will look for us…..” Jared was nodding, this idea sounded logic enough to accept it. Even though he could understand that Jensen wanted to get out as soon as possible.  
“……..Think on your family……” Misha stepped in again and Jensen looked up.  
“….I do……, the whole time……” He looked hurt and worried.  
Misha got a bit closer, resting his hand on the other actors shoulder.  
“I miss mine too, and because of that, don’t make any stupid moves ok…………they want to get you back in one piece.”  
Jensen looked at the blue eyes he was thinking…..  
Misha was the one who had been attacked and beaten up once and he had handled it somehow, but Jared and him were involved in a bar fight as well the dark blond was evaluating his options before opting them out.  
He sighed again. Even knowing Jared would step in right away and Misha would do as well, Jensen couldn’t go against two possible hunters, thinking how the characters were raised and trained. Not to mention the maybe Angel on their site.  
They might be able to handle a proper stage fight or withstand some drunkards looking for trouble but Jared and Misha were right, they couldn’t handle their characters.  
Finally Jensen nodded. “……We stay down……”  
And his friends commented that with reassuring nod’s themselves.

The whole situation was just so fucked up, beyond every believable.  
Jensen ran his fingers through his hair, a gesture of great frustration and distress.  
Jared patted him on the back.  
“We got this…..” He tried to sound assuring but got a strange look from the two other for recycling a Sam line…. even though it was on point.  
But Jared’s confused look got the tension out of the conversation and the three even managed to smile slightly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

About an hour later it was silent at the apartment.  
Jensen had been the last who had slept. Castiel had felt the distress and the uneasiness within the man that looked like his Dean.  
But now it was silent and the Angel went back to listen to the universe, spreading his wings in another dimension and stretching his not fixed, his not solid form to relax and recharge himself while still watching the hunters surroundings to keep an eye on his humans safety.  
Castiel thought about how similar the human thought about families and how they wanted to protect them.  
The actors who looked like his humans and himself seemed to care equally protective over their families as Dean and Sam did about each other, but somehow less burdened and even without living under the constant threats and nighmare’s the hunter have to live under.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Dean and Sam normally did not sleep for long, even though Dean preferred to do that being at the bunker. But they were still asleep as Jensen woke up just a bit after he had fall asleep before. It had been a restless, an insecure sleep. The actor had lived through one of his nightmares. The world as he knew it was fallen apart, he was hunted and constantly on the run trying to carry his children and so many other to a save point. It was the first time in his live that he had included his family in that kind of dream and he had suffered, unable to get to them to be able to catch them at first and than he had failed in carrying them to a save place.  
Jensen did not know what had hunted him, he never knew but this time it had been so much more……… The dark blond had woken up in cold sweat, the shadows of his dream still right on his heels. It took him a moment to orientate, realising that he still was in a nightmare.  
Slowly the reality seeped in and left the actor in shock for a brief second.

He remembered how they had decided to go to sleep, even though they had lingered around it for some time. Hesitating if it would be wise to went to sleep in such a situation. But Jared was the one who made the decision in the end, more or less. Since he was so tired after all that had happened at the day, that he finally just fall asleep.  
He was still half sitting on the bed and half lying on it.  
Misha had smiled at that and nudged the younger one, who didn’t even wake up as he slumped back into the sheets.

Jensen had hesitated a bit longer before finally stepping into the small room between the sleeping places of his friends and the strange man impersonating their characters. He was still not ready to admit that they might be the real deal.  
Jensen was careful, leaving a small gab open to his cast mates room, just in case he would need some help, so close to their kidnappers. But he was thankful to have that bit of privacy as well.  
His personal restrains and uncertainty’s sometimes were a pain in the ass and Jensen knew that but he lived with it and with the two ‘doofes’ around he had worked on that but in times like that the actor could feel it like a chain on his neck.

However Jensen wouldn’t be the Jensen he was if he wouldn’t try to find a way out. He just had to.  
The actor got up and managed to keep it silent, Jensen wasn’t sure if the door to the hunters room would be locked and a small part within actually hoped it would be but the actor silenced it the best he could as he stepped forward and turned the door knob. He shrugged as the latch clicked way to loud in his ears, but he did wait just a moment and moved on.

Even if there was no way out, Jensen needed to be sure or at least he needed to have a look.  
And a look he got, the moment he opened the small door far enough to see through and even get his head out a bit.  
Since the chamber had been pitch black he didn’t need to adjust to the slightly brighter room with the big window.  
And what he saw was disgusting.  
The guy looking like Jared was spread out over the whole double bed, his head resting on his own look alike’s back. While the dark blond was comfortably lying on his stomach, facing the other man, something about that made Jensen feeling very uncomfortable even though he thought of himself that he had become better in handling that kind of closeness. But it definitely was something else seeing his face on one of the man right there.

Jensen needed to get out………….  
He walked past the two kidnappers and managed to reach the exit of the bedroom and even agitated as he was right now he could already imagining being out.  
Just a few steps he thought as he suddenly faced the Angel who was about to wake up his hunters.

Castiel smiled at the surprised view of his first human, and without hesitation he ‘greeted’ him with the usual morning kiss on his cheek.  
“Hello Dean…”  
Realising to late that he had made another mistake……as the dark blond clutched his hand right were the Angel lips had touched him and stepping back with panic in his eyes, colliding with an angry hunter right behind.  
Dean not only growled…..  
He had heard Cass voice, his morning praise, calling his name, but it sounded wrong, to far away and there were no soft touch were there should have been one.  
Within a glimpse Dean was up watching the scene. Looking at his double trying to get away and even worse he could put together what had happened…….  
Jensen was still staring at the Castiel creature, his eyes wide, his thoughts in confusion as Dean grabbed the actor on his neck, painfully bending one arm on the back and yelling at him.  
Questioning what he had done…..?!

Sam had got up the moment he had felt his brother move on the bed, now he and Cass were watching the scene playing in front of their eyes.  
But they weren’t the only one watching. The chamber door had opened a bit and Jared made a move that was blocked right away by Sam. Misha, who was following right away didn’t even get a chance to get out as both, Sam and Dean pushed Jared and Jensen back into the small room, slamming shut the door and Dean blocked it with a chair till he would find a fitting wedge or key to lock it more secure.  
Dean immediately turned at Cass who was looking apologetic at the hunter.  
He really felt guilty for not realising the differences that should be there.  
But the dark blond was to angry to calm down right now he just stormed off into another room. Dean needed a moment.  
He had warned his brother that they should tie them up but he had talked him out of it, he hadn’t followed his own worries to be seen together with Sam but he had fallen for Sam’s gentleness again and to make things worse, his Angel had kissed the impersonator, not only showing affection to this asshole, no, Cass had revealed that Dean was allowing him to kiss him…………… So many things just hit the hunter, he really needed more than a moment but a moment was all they could afford right now.  
Dean had hated the first time they had been thrown into another world but this here got worse by the minute…… The dark blond wanted to leave this nightmare as fast as possible.  
Sam smiled a Cass who seemed really concerned looking after Dean, trying to decide if he should follow. But Sam patted their Angel on the shoulder. Gently turning him and cupping his cheeks. The younger Winchester shook his head and kissed Castiel softly with a morning greeting on his lips.  
“He will calm…..give him some space…..” Sam mentioned and the Angel nodded.  
“Did you really can’t see differences…?” Sam was curious since the cloth should have been a indicator, he guessed.  
“….I……….no…….” Castiel offered.  
“….They are exactly alike…….I can’t figure any differences at all. It is the same scent, the same aura, even the same energy I can feel being close……. They should be different….” Castiel sounded irritated and confused, enough for Sam to further inquiry.  
The hunter was still holding the Angel as he locked their eyes and got very serious.  
“What do you mean………there should be differences? What do you think?”  
Sam was long used for their ally to hold back and not communicate what was on his mind. And he had learned it was best to asked directly. Castiel wasn’t good in lying and random had the urge to do so, at least if Dean hadn’t pulled him in into some of his games.  
The blue eyes looked at Sam.  
“I don’t know yet, but normally there would be a different signature, some that was created by this universe and would reflect within every creation living here. But Dean….i mean the other Dean hadn’t that…………. He was absolutely identical.”  
Cass really sounded confused about that.  
Sam stepped back a bit.  
“Will that change something? Is there some danger for our Dean?”  
But Castiel just looked at his comrade. He hadn’t an answer.  
“I would like to test it with the others if possible.” He finally decided, getting a strange look from the tall hunter…….

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Misha caught Jared as he was pushed back into the small room, directly followed by Jensen.  
The door slam shut right behind and they could hear something pressed beneath the door knob.  
That incident was a shock for all of them. Jensen rolled his shoulders like he was used to in his Dean roll every time after they had a scripted fight.  
But this time it really hurt doing this.  
Jared looked at him watching the older one grimacing at his moves.  
Jensen nodded but he was shocked as well.  
He hadn’t expected such a fast escalation and this wasn’t the only thing he had to think about.  
He wasn’t stupid, but he just couldn’t believe that what he had seen was truth at all.  
He would never play Dean like that. He would never let him get in touch with his BROTHEr for Christ sake and not only that…………………  
Jensen touched his cheek again. There had been a slight tingly feeling as the Angel had kissed him there.  
But the actor pushed that aside he didn’t wanted to think about that, not now, not ever…..  
Again he rolled his shoulders, the stinging pain a welcomed distraction.  
“What had happened?” It was Jared who finally found his voice back.  
He and Misha had woken up at the loud yelling from the other room and the next Jared could remember was his image grabbing him and tossing him back as he wanted to help Jensen.  
Both dark haired actors were staring at Jensen who was the only one who had been part of what ever had happened.  
“Did you tried to get out?” Misha suddenly asked.  
Jensen couldn’t face him, after realising how capable these guys, on the other side of the door, were to kill them he had thought about his reckless action and it had dawned him, he had not only brought himself into danger but also Jared and Misha.  
But Misha didn’t seem angry or anything. He just looked at the younger actor, waiting for his explanation of what he had seen and done.  
“Sorry i…….” Jensen didn’t know how to name what he had done and he didn’t want to talk about what he had seen.  
He looked at Jared, again recalling the scene on the bed, and he looked at the other worried actor, immediately recalling the other incident that morning.  
“I..can’t……” The dark blond got out and walked over to the white armchair to sit down.

Jared and Misha weren’t happy that the dark blond didn’t want to talk but they respected it for now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been silent for most of the time. Sam or Castiel had delivered amazingly bad fast food and water over the past few days.  
And since the Bedroom had its own bath and shower this hadn’t been a big problem either.  
Sam had even given some books Jared had asked for and there was a TV to get distracted but sitting still for almost two days on such limited space started to cost it’s tribute.  
Just the fact that the actors often have to hang out around each other while working and that their different personality was balancing them out, prevented the three men from hot argumentations and or small fights….. But it got tense more and more….and all of them recognised that.  
They hadn’t tried anything since the time Jensen had been caught by the hunters and been throwing back into captivity.  
Jared had finally started to try to talk to his look alike who he believed was Sam with no doubt. He and his image of a hunter had talked from time to time through a slightly opened chamber door not much to Jensens liking tho. And even Misha had participated at these talks from time to time.  
But it had been fruitless so far even thought the hunter had been kind and also had talked back a few times but there still was no connection as Jared had hoped there would be.

It was unexpected as the door opened, outside the typical feeding times.  
All three actors looked up in unison, a bit fearful about what would happen now.  
But Sam walked in without hurry looking at the three that had their faces.  
He had considered taking them out one by one but the actors were no threat at all.  
And obviously all of them could use the opportunity to stretch their legs.

It had taken some time to find the right time to let Castiel test his guesses which have strengthened over the last two days doing research with Dean on the outside world while Sam had done it at the apartment to be there in case of something unexpected.  
Dean had calmed down but not changed his mind about holding the other men locked at any time.

But the dark blond had get out just half an hour ago and he would be out for some time. And even better Cass wasn’t needed directly on this search so the Angel had offered to help Sam on some Spells he had remembered since this world was lacking of any of this magic. Dean could call him at any time if necessary and the older hunter had agreed.

They had waited to be sure that Dean was gone to allow their victims some space.

“You wanna get out for a bit…..?” The actors starred at the young hunter who just had walked into the room.  
Sam chuckled at the afraid faces….  
“He is gone, getting some stuff and you have caught him on the wrong food this one morning….”  
Sam tried to sound assuring as he talked directly to the dark blond who looked like his brother…. But Jensen just couldn’t face the hunter, he was again recalling what he thought was going on between those guys and he just couldn’t process it.  
They had his and his friends faces and ……………. He just couldn’t even though he really tried not to judge……  
Sam finally shrugged his shoulders as none of them moved.  
“Ok, how about you can make food since all of you had complained about the cooking…..lately…”  
Jared and Misha looked like they had been caught but Jensen heard it as well.  
Sam smiled on that.  
“I promise not to do anything that will cause you harm……if not needed.” He added but still smiling. And to show his will to trust them he turned and walked right to the small chamber he had opened for the actors to walk through.  
And Jared was the first one who followed, he was just happy to get rid of his constant building nervous energy and even if it was just by walking around the apartment for some time or get distracted cooking or anything else.  
Mish got up next and went after the youngest. He would like to call his family immediately and wanted to figure out a way to connect them somehow.  
Jensen hesitated for some time………….but not because he wanted to stay within this room….

Sam was still smiling as he reached the bedroom door and realised the sudden click from the front door. Immediately he turned, still calm he gestured his Image and the other Angel to stay back and keep silent as he walked out at the hallway only resting the door behind.  
“…..You’re back?” The taller Winchester didn’t seem nervous or worried as he talked to his brother who was complaining about forgetting things…  
A life of a hunter had made both Winchesters into great, sociopath like liars, even when it comes to the own sibling.  
It was nothing the two men thought about anymore.  
But Jared and also Misha were a bit irritated about this coldness the younger Winchester was showing right now.  
Not a slightest did he show any sign that would make someone suspicious.  
He even joked with Dean and teased that his brother was getting old and that he should look for his stuff himself as the older one asked for help looking for something.  
Even as Dean mentioned that he might had left it at the bedroom Sam didn’t hesitated telling him to feel free to have a look.

While Jared and Misha froze on the spot, Sam was teasing even more….., even provoking his brother who was snapping back.  
And finally informed Sam that he had found what he had looked for, sarcastically thanking the younger one for his help.  
“Anytime…!” Sam chimed back as Dean walked growling through the corridor.  
Misha and Jared relaxed slightly and both even got closer to the door to have a look.  
Dean was almost at the door as he suddenly turned and walked back to his brother, pulling him in for a hot kiss.  
And Sam didn’t hesitate to eagerly answering the embrace.  
Jared shrugged back, stepping away from the door. His eyes ripped open in surprise.  
He bumped into Jensen who had finally followed his colleges.  
Jared turned and the dark blond did understand right away what the younger one might have seen. Misha seemed more in thoughts than flustered as he turned as well.  
Jensen looked at the other main actor, slightly nodding.  
“……They are……?!” Jared seemed really irritated still helplessly starring at the older friend.

Sam opened the door again, smiling and gesturing the actors to get out.  
“Ok………..”  
Now all of them were hesitating leaving Sam lightly frowning.  
But the hunter shrugged his shoulders, he had all phones and computer in his hands, the door was closed and Cass could sense all of them there was no immediate threat. Sam turned and left the room walking back to their Angel, again working on the research. Cass would please himself to test these world’s versions.  
“Help yourself.” The hunter gestured while leaving.

“Have you seen that?” Jared was still confused but he was curious and Misha listened. But Jensen did not know what exactly Misha and Jared had witnessed.  
“Did you see them………ahm………..kissing….?” Misha tried to stay calm and unfazed, but he failed looking at the dark blond actor who gulped obviously.  
Again Jensen shook his head.  
“He…..had…………ahm…it was obviously a mistake……… “  
Jared stared at the older one.  
“He kissed you?!!!!”  
Jensen shrugged at hearing it out loud.  
“This Sam?” Misha was confused.  
“What? No, the Castiel!” Jensen blurred out without thinking and it hit the other actors even more.  
“Wait what!” Misha starred at the Dean actor. He had been right not liking this creature at all.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Jared wondered and was about to have a look at the other men as the three finally stepped into the dining room the hunter and the Angel had chosen to work in.  
Sam smiled as the one that looked like his brother and the spitting image of their angel passed them to get to the kitchen while his look alike stopped right in front of him starring down obviously something on his mind.  
Cass and Sam looked up at this weird action.  
And Jared as it was his usual way couldn’t hold it he just blurred out what was driving him.  
He needed to.  
“Are ……..your together!” The actor almost spit it into the hunters face and Jensen panicked, turning at Jared, ready to step in if the look alike would do anything………..anything at all…  
Jared was still staring at the Winchester hunter.  
But nothing happened. Sam just tilted his head, slightly smiling before he looked the other man straight into the eyes, not saying anything at all.  
But his silence spoke volumes and left Jared, Misha and Jensen shocked on so many levels.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shortly before Dean returned Sam asked their victims, politely to get back into the bedroom and they did follow.  
Cass had scanned them all over the day.  
Misha had starred at his impersonator the whole time but none of them had talked with each other.

And the actors stayed silent at ‘their’ room as well.  
But Jensen was surprised, since they had spent the day with the characters they played on a TV-show in this world it had been easier to separate himself from the image he had seen on the bed, laying with his brother. It had become somehow less disgusting and the images in his head started to fade.  
And the dark blond was pretty sure that the current silence was nothing more than trying to figure out why these men had come to that.  
What had gone wrong in their lives to turn it this way.  
Thinking like this helped Jensen and he was finally able to get a bit more distance between himself and this Dean. Who was similar but not the character he was playing.

But realising that this wasn’t some weird manifestation of the guys they play at their show, opened up another line of thoughts.  
If they really lived that kind a live……………..?  
Jensen started to feel something new……………he started to feel pity………..thinking about what his version of Dean had been through and how it would affect a real person……..who has been to those nightmares.

“They are poor bastards…….” Jensen finally mentioned, subdued and more to himself but he got Jared and Misha’s attention.  
“Why would someone …………I mean?” the green eyed guessed.  
“Went onto his brother……………?” Jared add, still disgust.  
“Or a friend……..?” Misha went on.

Jensen looked up at his friends and cast mates. They had developed a bound over the years and over the years, his own restrains and lines had shifted….. Jensen did not consider to have a sexual relationship with any of the two man in this room but he didn’t have the background these hunters had.

Jared was still looking at the older actor who seemed deeply lost in his thoughts.  
“What you’re thinking?”  
His voice had changed, the younger one had now the gentleness he was using while talking about his own psychological stuff or if he was trying to calm a fan.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that day the interaction changed.  
Sam opened the door whenever Dean was out. They still hadn’t any lead in any direction.  
It was still ominous why and how they had ended in this world.  
The hunters weren’t close to giving up but it got more and more complicated to hold up the hope.  
Sam had already figured that his brother wasn’t really doing research anymore. Instead he was driving. Normally he would have used his baby but without her around Dean just used any car he could lay his hands on.  
He was driving to forget, he was driving to clear his thoughts and he was driving to get away from his fears that they might stuck here for longer.  
He was running and Sam didn’t like his brother getting into that mood.

However the actors were able to leave their room more often but not the apartment and to kill time they did start talking. Asking about the live the hunting the reality and in return Sam asked his look alike about his live his decisions. Trying to figure out similarity and differences……………..

Misha was still suspicious of the Angel but he had started to watch him. The way he was obeying to this Sam’s guesses and actions. He was watching how the Angel slightly corrected and adjusted his own reactions to make it easier for the human around him, even the actors who didn’t have to be his problem. But the Angel did.  
And Misha watched how the blue eyed struggled to follow his humans, how he get irritated easily and still tried to do what was expected of him either by the hunters or his Angelic coding.  
There was something lonely about this sometimes clumsy acting, something sad about the obvious misfit of this creature, trapped in a human world where he did not belong in.  
But no matter how hard it obviously was to orientate himself around the human lives and actions, over and over Castiel tried, again and again repeating what he had seen or watched, trying to understand it, trying to figuring out what his position at it could be.  
And slowly Misha felt pity watching this Fish out of the water. Struggling to get along and trying to swim on sand…..

\--------------------

Jared had watched the version of Sam as well. He had realised him becoming more silent, more inverted lately and it somehow broke his heart. They had talked about families, about wishes and dreams and finally Jared had talked about his………. His wife, the Rock in the surf, his children who he watched growing up so fast…………and his working live with some of his best friends and the private live, away from acting……  
And Sam had listened, he had smiled on funny storys, he had looked serious at the more serious ones and he had even assured the actor in times of insecurity while talking about some stuff.  
But the hunter hadn’t talked much about himself, aside the typical hunter life……  
And it was than that Jared remembered what he had wanted to asked his Sam for a long time now. But the actor wasn’t sure anymore…………….

\--------------------

Since his impersonator was out for the time they got out of the room Jensen had just watched, and he had listened. He wasn’t into that philosophy stuff Jared was totally going in with his other version and he wasn’t into that reading between the lines Misha was obviously experiencing with this Castiel. Jensen didn’t even get half of what either Sam and Jared were talking about or the nonverbal conversation Misha and that Angel dude had going on.

It felt so much above his head it started to hurt………..

End part four.


	5. Jared vs. Sam

Part Fife – Jared vs. Sam

Jared hadn’t realised it but he had stared. And for some time now. Sam had ignored it and was again reading over the small amount of magic stuff they had found in this world.  
Well there was a lot of crap around but the real things he could count on one hand.  
It was frustrating but apparently they weren’t the only once zapped into this world.  
Cass had get together some of the scripts Dean had found a hint on.  
And now Sam tried to get through the dead languages since the Angel seemed completely lost with his image. The younger hunter looked over at the dining table the two dark haired had sat down, facing and measuring each other.  
Jared followed the hunters view.  
“Will he ………..what is he like?”  
Jared didn’t look at his other image as he got out this question.  
Sam slightly smiled. It was somehow amusing to have a conversation with someone similar in some parts aside the look.  
“Cass?” It wasn’t a real question and there for Jared didn’t answer.  
Both men still looked at the two angels at the table.  
“He is………….special…”  
“A good friend, a great warrior and a bad hunter, but a great ‘brother’.”  
Jared turned, he could hear the love in his or Sam’s voice…..  
“Is he…….Does he……I mean……?”  
Now Sam looked up and watched the Actor.  
“…….” Sam thought he might knew were this was going again but he wasn’t sure. The younger Winchester was never someone to let out secrets if not asked directly, he was respecting other peoples privacy as much as possible and of course his own as well.  
And it was even more difficult as it comes to the uncommon relation he was living in with his brother and their best friend.  
Jared pulled back his hair and scratched his neck in a nervous gesture Sam didn’t use that often but did know all to well.  
It was strange seeing it being used since normally it was an unknown reflex.  
Before the Actor could get on, Sam interrupted him.  
“How is the Angel and my brothers role played here?”  
Sam was curious since he had seen the interaction among the three men they had kidnapped and were holding hostage.  
Jared furrowed his eyes in surprise…..  
He obviously needed a sec to get what the hunter was mentioning.  
“I mean is there something between your worlds version of Cass and Dean?”  
Sam added to explain a bit more detailed.  
“NO…….!” Jared was fast to answer and surprised Sam in this.  
“I mean….no…. It isn’t necessary part of the show……. Well there are people who do interpret something into it but it isn’t………. It is not…………  
It’s not a part of the role on screen,……….at least…..” Jared thought.  
They often joked about those homoerotic interpretations that occurred around their characters.  
They just didn’t see each other this way and it was fun to think about it when you’re tired and exhausted from way to long shooting day’s. But really thinking it would be something, part of them was just not………….  
Sam nodded slightly, watching the actors mind moving.  
“I guess it wouldn’t be something you would suggest?!”  
Sam kind of stated.  
“You have a family right?!” It wasn’t a question as well. Sam already knew about that, since the actor had talked about it. At first it just slipped out and he tried to hold it back afterwards but Sam was to skilled in any kind of communication, and of course he had realised saved any kind of information that Jared had given out without even realising it.  
“You have a big family, brothers, sisters? Your parents are still there……..”  
“You’ve got a save place to live, people to turn to if needed, you have a loving wife who is managing the civil world you live in when not at work…… You have opportunities to get out…… To get out of this scripted world in which you play me ….”  
“I bet you sometimes relax at the knowledge that your children are safe and protected and because of that you are free to do what ever you need to…….. I bet just knowing there would be someone taking care of everything even without you being around, at least for a while, is something you can get strength out of.  
Knowing the one you love safe, knowing the once you care about to have other help on their way, not just you is helping to lift burden up your shoulders………… And I get it, of course I do…… To have that, a more or less stable live, with other stable lives around to step in in times of need…..”  
“That is how it should be, that is what people search for all their life. And not only that, you have two great friends along the way, at work and in private I guess as well…..”  
“It all is the complete opposite of what we have……….. The opposite of what we have to live through, under pressure, always on the edge of death and trapped in this small bubble that is us three…….”  
Sam looked over at the Angel again.

And Jared saw his chance to ask what he really wanted to know.  
“….Sam…” It was weird to use the name……under these circumstances.  
The hunter turned and looked at his look alike.  
“…Have…you really giving up on a family……….? I mean I played the role at first like someone who wanted to have a ‘normal’ live……, a …..”  
Jared hesitated seeing the welling up tears, or was he imagining that because it was gone before the actor could be sure.  
The hunter looked at him for a long moment.

And as the Winchester answered he seemed collected and calmed but it broke Jared’s heart.

Sam talked subdue but seriously.  
“……..I tried…..to give up…….. And for some parts I might have.” The hunter seems to recall something in his mind as he looked back at Castiel and Misha on the other side of the table.  
“I guess you know the Sam character from your show very well……… Maybe you have figured something similar, maybe not but I …………. I am alone …… even with Dean or Cass around I am alone. And it is inhuman to be alone…………” Sam still wasn’t looking back, he was still focused on the two Angels.  
“….I do need something like a home as well and I knew since a long time that there is no way in a live like ours to make it possible. I wouldn’t be able to handle the loss of those I can’t protect and I wouldn’t be able to protect a family of my own.  
I would train them, I would want them to be able to fight and I would drag them into this nightmare Dean and I live in. What a crulesome act this would be.  
Actually I had hoped I would be gone before I would think about it again and before I would be able to regret not having ………………….” Sam stopped, it was difficult to get it out.

A hunters live was short in general, most of them get salt and burned before they even hit the 25. , to young to have a working social live and a family waiting for them  
And those who made it past the 30 were legends and mostly to damaged to even trust themselves, not to mention others, male or female alike.  
The closest thing to a relation hunters could have was a fighting buddy who you have his back. And even among those were a lot (mistrusts), knowing what could happen to any human at any time.  
Sam knew of some hunters who had killed each other. Some times because the other got possessed, sometimes they got mixed in their heads, sometimes they just couldn’t handle being so close anymore……

A hunters live was dangerous for so many reasons and that was what Sam was telling the actor who listened, close to tears imagining this kind of live for the first time. Jared had thought about his character, of course he had and the writers had giving him some good hints on his characters motives, but Jared had never expand this world far enough to make it work.  
But now listening to the daily struggle Sam was really going through hit the actor.  
They could walk it off or have a break of some kind, for this role, this character, for Sam it wasn’t an available option at all.  
They lived the nightmares through, the whole time, every day, every year and only their ultimate, silent dead as a reward at the end.

Just hearing this felt like a rock being burdened on his shoulders.  
But Sam didn’t stop, as if a dam had been opened and now the flood couldn’t be stopped.  
“I think I’ve been lucky to have the family that is left, by my side.” Sam went on.  
“I do trust Dean, always have and always will, aside our occasional disagreement.”  
“We’ve been though so much, together. He had basically raised me. He was always there, trying to take care. And by doing so he became every thing I knew about family. Father, mother, brother, friend….. companion….”  
“And he paid a price I will never be able to pay back. He sold his own live, his own child live to do so………….. I am bound to him by guild, I am bound to him by love and I am bound to him by regrets and gratitude.”  
“I literally own him my live in more than one meaning…………. And staying with him is a benefit for both of us. It keeps us both as sane as possible. It is the only way, I can think of, to hold us together, to avoid losing the last bit of human that is left of us….”  
Jared couldn’t hold it any longer the first tear made its way down his cheek while Sam still seemed calm and controlled, even though the actor could tell that the other man was moved.  
Sam couldn’t look at his impersonator but still he went on talking about Dean taking care of him and losing his own live on the way.  
“He couldn’t make it without me, he needs me. Either to work his long live pattern or to just keep me close to feel save himself. Taking care of me, and killing, hunting monster was his only live purpose. That was what he was raised and trained to do.  
The only options that were giving to him since our mother died, since he was a four years old child.”  
Sam smiled sadly.  
“……..to become what we are now……….. It wasn’t such a big step………. It was almost a logic act, almost natural……..  
He was the only one who, even being told that he might have to kill me, hold me close, fought for me and was by and on my side, every time……… The only real love I knew of………. I learned from Dean, I learned from my brother…….”  
Sam gave out thoughtful.  
“Being able to went for ‘him’ as a ‘partner’ is helping to get over the left regrets, the fear of being alone and the insecurity’s that comes with this live. It is a weird balance and as instable as it is, I wouldn’t want to change it now. It is the closest thing to having a partner a protector and a family, all of us can have in our live.  
I’m not saying that this wont change sometime but with what we live through right now, it is all we could have, it is the only available opportunity……..” Sam finished and finally turned back to the Actor who was now crying without restrain.  
Being forced to make exception and sacrifices to that level was something he had never heard of before. Jared was agitated he had experienced being forced to hold himself back, he understood the meaning of sacrificing own wishes and needs but never ever had he thought about someone that needed to go that far to be able to survive, and not just physically but mentally as a normal human.  
There was a sudden understanding that hit the actor and without hesitation he got up, walked around the table and hugged the other hunter, pulling him painfully close in his arms.  
Sam was more than surprised and needed a sec. to avoid fighting the other man but then he patted Jared’s back, gesturing him that it was ok, but the tall actor didn’t let go. He pulled him even tighter and slowly Sam’s hand sank and he felt his energy leaving him, he could feel the  
build up boarders crumbling and soon after he could feel the hot tears pouring down his face.  
The hunter was crying…………………………….

End part fife


	6. Misha vs. Castiel

Part six – Misha vs. Castiel 

Castiel looked over and tilted his head. He could feel the Winchesters sadness. An emotion he couldn’t fully understand yet but he has experienced as he had been human for some time.  
He felt the urge of walking over, protecting his human but he hesitated.   
The Angel couldn’t figure what to do as he felt a light grip around his wrist and looked down.  
Misha had realised the irritation within the man next and he had watched the scene between the two Sam Versions as well.  
The dark haired actor shook his head as the Angel looked at him. The blue eyes seemed more intense than usual. Misha wondered if this is it what it felt like for the other actors to look at him. It was kind of amazing actually, watching these eyes. The actor felt a bit narzistic thinking like that but after he had been very much disappointed with the impersonation of his role he thought he could accept it.  
The Angel seemed not happy with the human holding him back but he didn’t move further, just stand and watched at the two other men in the room.   
He got up the moment the hunter had started to cry.

After a few moments Misha decided to allow his Cast member and his…..’charakter’ some place.  
He got up himself and gestured the empty vessel with his blue eyes to follow.  
Castiel looked at Sam one last time, considering his options before he walked after the slightly shorter human that looked like him.  
They settled at the kitchen for no reason in the same positions they had been at the dining table before.  
“Can I do something for him?” Castiel all of a sudden turned at the actor, his eyes wide and showing real worry.  
Misha got a bit irritated at that displayed emotion the Angel was showing, he hadn’t done any of that before, not that obvious.  
“What?”  
“I often misinterpret or do not analyse the situation correctly when it comes to human interactions and emotions. But since you are a human as well I am asking for advice. Is there something I can do to help Sam?”  
The Angels eyes, worried and sad hit the actor once again.  
He hadn’t been very kind to that creature, which was understandable since he was one of the kidnappers that held them hostage.   
And the actor had been very disappointed, offended and even a bit annoyed seeing this one dimensional character for real.  
But something of that worried expression and the way the Angel was willing to asked for help even from someone who was obviously not fond of him, that was something Misha needed to respect,…somehow…

“You really worry for them right?” Misha started.  
“Of course……….. I try to protect them as much as possible.” The angel answered truthful.  
“………..Why?” Misha was curious, there were some parts of Castiel he couldn’t get a connection too. This overacting about protecting which mostly ended in betraying the Winchesters, was one of them.  
Castiel looked out of the window as he answered, again as truthful as possible.  
“…..They still fight against their saddening fate………and they live to all that burden in a humanitarian way, so much closer to what my father would want it to be like, than a lot of my brothers and sisters do, and even knowing that it is the hard way and there wouldn’t be much reward, if any, in the end………  
They are worth so much more than me, so much more than many of us……..  
I would like to protect them, to easy their burden to at least make it a bit easier for them……., giving them a break, a breath, anything that would allow them to not lose the last bit of hope the Winchesters are holding.  
They deserve more…………”  
Again Misha was surprised. There was definitely love in this deep voice. The Angel might didn’t know or realise it but he was doing it out of love and nothing else. Only deeply, devoted love and despair.  
Now it was the human actor tilting his head, looking at the celestial creature.  
It was suddenly so obvious.   
The Angel was in deep desperation, even close to giving up himself……  
He needed the hunters not only to do his once imprinted duty of protecting and watching over humans, he needed them to measure himself and to tell himself that he still was of some use, that he still had a purpose.   
The Angel was trying to adjust……….to survive even.  
To adjust to a world he didn’t belong in/to.  
Misha stared at the Angel who was still watching back with his big blue eyes.  
He probably didn’t know it himself, the actor guessed.  
The celestial seemed lost, and in a way, the dark haired human could connect to that.  
Castiel was trying to move mountains and it didn’t seem to work, any time.  
Misha looked at his image.  
“Do you like living among us?” The actor asked.  
And it was a long moment before Castiel answered or at least gestured by slightly shaking his head.  
“I do not understand he rules on earth, I don’t understand the emotions humans are driven by, I am without any connection I had with my brothers and sisters and I get often yelled at for doing something wrong. I try to help those I like, those who called me family but I do think I don’t understand the meaning of that at all.  
I fear that they one day will realise that I am not as connected to them as they are to me.  
I try to act as expected but I don’t know what that means……and I feel ashamed of not being able to show ……the appropriate affection to the Winchesters.”  
“I don’t understand why they are cursed by my father. Why they get threatened the way it is….. They are the most perfect creation, acting in the most god praising way I was ever allowed to witness and still they aren’t allowed to rest, not for a moment.”  
“I want to help them, I want to protect the pure souls they carry, and I want to lift their grieve, they didn’t deserve at all”

The Angel looked sad, still starring into the last light outside.

“Do you think you can get redemption, salvation that way……….?”  
Now the Angel looked at the human in front. He seemed irritated as if it was obvious.  
“I will not be allowed back in heaven. I will never have that peace again. I have rebelled and disobeyed, I am lost by any means, there is not redemption for an Angel who did that…..!!”  
Castiel sounded angry even thinking about someone who would try to get back after failing that miserable.   
For the Angel it seemed like a direct attack, an insult, just thinking of it…  
Misha shrugged back at that.  
There was so much self-loathing in these words………..  
But at the same time there was not a single doubt about the affection and loyal love the Angel was displaying towards the Winchesters.   
There was a long pause while Misha was just watching the other man who was trying to look over at the dining room….  
The celestials stupidity still felt a bit offending but the angel was trying, with all he had, he was trying to adjust, to fit in, to be of some help………  
And it must be frustrating to fail at it, causing more damage than help and ending up in need to fixing up something again.  
Misha thought about his distress and frustration about the things he couldn’t change in the world, in his job or even in his live at the moment.  
He had always thought of Castiel as someone who had lost his family and home and had become homeless but it was even worse in a world that wasn’t scripted.  
The Angel was torn apart from experiencing emotions and not understanding the human rules and he was torn back and forth between mandatory and self-realization, between obeying, living under strict rules and suddenly needed to live on his own without beeing prepared the slightest bit.  
He actually was a pitiful creature………  
But Misha slowly realised and understand what the Angel really had lost and what that meant for a creation like him. Created, raised to be above the human race, to be higher and more integer, the better creation. His whole live had been like that and getting involved with the Winchester had meant more than just falling. Castiel had realised the lie he had lived through and he had, probably for the first time and to his own irritation, realised his own limitations.   
Every thing he was trained and created for was gone for him, the door closed and for an Angel who was the chosen one, the one someone cared about to be the fallen one, the exiled, it must have been a real shock realising the real meaning of ‘point of no return’.  
The Angel was working, fighting against himself, ……….a fight he couldn’t win, Misha knew that.  
But he had something the Angel did not.  
In his live, the actor had gotten enough knowledge and had experienced enough to mostly find a way out of difficult situations or at least to have someone who he could turn to for some advice or help.  
Castiel didn’t have that, since he was literally one among billions…………, and cut off from everything that might be close to a family.

“How……how can you burden this?” Misha felt pity and a slight understanding as he looked up and gestured in a way that could mean anything and nothing at all…  
“Dean and Sam.” The Angel let out without hesitation, his full attention now on his human look alike.  
“They always reached out for me. They accepted me the way I am. They taught me by showing it how…….or what it meant to be human. They accepted me close and helped in times of need, even without knowing what was expected of them. They hold me close when I was drifting…….   
And they were willing to give me a place to be, a place on earth and in their life.”  
“Even though it got them in danger sometimes…….., and for all they were willing to offer, they never chained me……..well, in general…… I know that just having a place to be is something very rare and even more tho, because I was always free to go if needed as long as I would come back now and then. They cared for me………without praising me, or expecting much at all…………”  
“They shared the little happiness they had………..with me, the small heaven of their own they offered to me as well………. There is nothing I could give in compensation……,aside fulfilling us much of their needs I could…….to help make their ‘heaven’ balanced, stable……”  
“And in the end they didn’t let me go either…….. I have never experienced care for my own. That wasn’t part of my live till I met Dean. Angel are supposed to give every thing and not to get anything in return, that is what we are created for, that is what we are borne for, we praise, we care, we fight in need of others…….” The blue eyed seemed to think about something since his attention slipped for a moment before he focused back.  
“…..I was poorly prepared for someone asking, caring about me. Individuality isn’t that much of a consence in heaven. And I got carried away and lost it due to this brothers and some part of me is still regretting all of it, not understanding or able to accept the price I paid for just becoming curious and flattered by being seen in so many different ways than just a servant……” Misha stared at the deadpan face, he was irritated because he could have sworn there was sadness in that voice…  
“I take the only chance left for me and turned on those I know call me family…”  
The Angel looked down and slightly smiled at a thought he wasn’t sharing.  
“I still sometimes fear I would go back to heaven the moment they would call me back, even being an outsider, even being avoided….. That is something I also learned from the Winchesters. Even if they treaded you bad….it is family never the less and you will always love them, have connection of some kind…… And it isn’t a bad thing tho. Dean said that this is the proof that you still feel, that you still hope and that you’re still alive……and sane to some extend. I would like to see it this way…”

Castiel than explained in details how he was working on living among humans, how he tries to get along, to fit in somehow, still driven by his basic orders to protect, praise and care. He explained it in all earnest, calmly mentioning even the physical connection he did share with the Winchesters brothers.

And it was then that Misha thought about something very seriously for himself….

\----------------

The two similar but different men sat in silence for some time. Misha was processing all the Information’s the Angel had given. Some of that the actor had never really considered. Of course his character was only one dimensional at first sight, he had never needed to go as far as the Angel in front of him had done. And the actor also saw the connection to his live, his instability drifting in live and the missing of something that could give him structure, a base, roots. Castiel didn’t have that at all as well and he was trying, he really was even going as far as giving up himself, changing on his search for himself, something he really never had been.  
Misha knew how difficult this could be to figure the own place, position in live, even among humans that was a hell of task but not even being an human, raised in the believe of something higher and better, realising the own limits, it must be disturbing.  
The Angel had explained that a lot of his brother and sisters did not survive facing that image of them self. Not only a few had not made it on earth, no matter if freely fallen or forced to.  
Some had started hurting themselves, to become self destructive, aggressive, insane and even killed themselves just getting in touch with emotions they hadn’t experienced in all their internal, eternal live….  
Misha thought about the changing episodes his character on the show had gone through and how he had struggled with some of them. But now they seemed fitting, as stupid and incomprehensible they seemed.  
Torn back and forth between adjusting to human and earth and the urging wish to get back to his home, his family his origin….  
Cass was basically a mistreatment victim still wanting back to the things he knew, the roles he could play, struggling with going on but again, he was trying and it was complicated for him…  
Misha could see that now, realising that Angels might be strong in body and mind as long as they could follow fixed rules but since they never learned or needed to get used to alterations they couldn’t handle being left with own decisions and orientations only relying on their own abilities. Their father had betrayed them on that, holding their knowledge, experiences and skills in limitation to avoid them leaving his side…  
*Poor bastards* The actor though, remembering his long leach and less rules even though he was sometimes thinking that he would have liked a bit more…  
But in the end he shared that struggle with the Angel even though out of different reasons…  
And Castiel was working on it the only way he knew, which was either leading or adjusting and obeying, both were extremes but without knowing every thing that was possible within between, how should the Angel react anyways.

Slowly the Actor didn’t felt so offended by seeing the character he was impersonating for so long now.   
The blue eyed might be looking like a looser but in comparison to a lot of others he at least was trying and even failing, he was trying it over and over again hoping or needing to find a any kind of solution in the end that would work for the creature that was trapped in a world he didn’t belong to in the first place and that would probably stay foreign for so much details, for ever.

Misha thought about that as well. He was straight forward naming things he had a slight fear about or was anxious about, this way he could kind of control it and sometimes get rid of it.  
He tried to live the ideal of the sky is the limit without fearing anything but the hurting truth was, that misha did fear, did think about what could happen on to many times… His wife had shown him that there are not much limits and for some reason the actor hold onto that, trying to live it with all he had but it wasn’t the whole truth……..not at all, not ever time even though he had made awesome memories that way. But he also had learned the limits that came in real life and he did know worries and fears and sadness. He knew what it was like if things turned around and got more complicated and he could see it even more getting older, watching his children growing up…  
He feared them walking off to fast, he feared loosing his free mind and drive and at the same time he feared that he might some times had to face his own uncertainties the moment he wouldn’t be able to run or move forward anymore…

The actor isn’t realising the fascinated view of the Angel who had watched the inner monologue with interest. This human was a strange wonder for the celestial and he wondered not for the first time if the former inhabitant of his vessel, if Jimmy had been the same?  
It was a bit discomforting to see the Jimmy look alike right before him. Castiel wasn’t afraid but expecting complaining and convictions of any kind and the angel wouldn’t have fight back. Jimmy would have any right to do that to the traitor that had promised him and his family safety and glory to get a yes to use the vessel and the worst thing, Castiel though now was, that he had believed that lie himself at that time.

But thinking of that Castiel was curious, he had realised a habit he had seen in so many humans on his way and it was part of the one looking like his vessel as well.

This was an oporunity the Angel didn’t want to let slip as he suddenly interrupted the silence that had surrounded them for some time now.

“I can sense you’re disapproving about me going as far as participating in human physical connections. But you also doesn’t seem to pleased when telling that I am trying to restrain myself to become a better companion to the Winchesters…..”  
Misha shrugged a bit getting called out suddenly. The deep voice coming from himself and also not was irritating. But he looked at the Angel who obviously wanted something to asked.  
The actor stayed silent and waited for the celestial creature to name his curiosity.  
“If you do not want me to adapt the human behaviour at any detail but also not approving me holding back, why are you doing exactly the same around him?”  
Castiel nodded slightly at the dark blond actor sitting in the other room. The Angel had of course realised the slight nervousness and insecurity his human version was showing around the Dean impersonator… 

The Angel was hitting Misha by surprise once again.  
“I…, Im…not……!!!” But the actor looked at the deadpan face of the angel…. He wasn’t judging he just had asked and actually it was a good question…

Misha looked at Jensen who was sitting in an armchair and staring into nothingness…  
They get along incredibly well even though they were more like the quarterback and the geek ………………….in the beginning….  
Misha had never thought someone like the dark blond would ever be in his live, he wasn’t that kind of people who would have someone like Jensen as friend around, Misha had to admit that, but there was something he felt extremely flattered about the fact that he got the attention of the younger actor and it bothered Misha to see it like that….  
He knew about Jensens restrains and strict rules and his unpleasantness when it comes to …….’close interactions’ but over the years he had figured it wasn’t just Jensen who had that insecurity whenever it comes to that and while the dark blond had changed slowly, probably due to Jareds influence, Misha had not…… He was about to restrain himself more and more…………  
And again it bothered him…  
Castiel was still watching as the human seemed to try to figure something out that might end in an answer… He was patient, time didn’t mean the same to him like it does to the humans at all.  
If it had been that way the angel would have been very restless at the point as the actor finally gave a guesses, but not before he stared at the Angels unmoved face for a minute more.  
“I………..i don’t know how….to act in front of him…..I…” “It is like,… I can’t name it but sometimes I don’t know how to react in front of him or what he is expecting from me…………and when ever someone else is around, Jared or fans or who ever he stiffened and I am struggling with this, I cant be as easy going and relaxed around him and constantly try to figure out what he wants from me next and ……………”  
Castiel watched the human a little bit longer, he had seen that between the brothers too.  
“Than you get insecure when the one next to you is insecure as well?”  
“What?!” The dark haired seemed confused.  
“I have seen that in many humans. When they aren’t sure what the result of their own emotional need would be they don’t even try……….” The angle looked thoughtful as if he was figuring out something about this social behaviour…  
“When Sam and Dean hadn’t laid together they did the same and often got angry or started acting differently around each other….. They didn’t mentioned or named the………….grey mammalian in the room, that’s what Dean called it…….and he got very angry when I asked about it……..”  
Misha starred at the stupid Angel. “…..an elephant?” He asked.  
The angel turned at the actor who was still staring at the emotionless bastard that was his character….  
“Dean didn’t wanted me to asked about it and he yelled at me when I asked Sam……… Both had fears the other would avoid or push him away, and they thought it would be more painful than not knowing about the other ones feeling.” Castiel guessed. “But in the end it made things more complicated and even though they had the same in mind it separated them…………”  
Suddenly his view changed and there was another small glimps of emotion that hit Misha. The Angel was slightly smiling…as he looked at the actor.  
“I was the same……………….” The full lips curled up at the edges and for the first time Misha saw that this wasn’t a human, that it wasn’t just a character, that there was a long existence knowledge behind that eyes that only would fit a celestial being something out of that world.  
Castiels view drifted to something only he could see and his face changed to a softness Misha had never seen before……..   
The actor was suddenly flooded with peace and calmness and ease like never before….  
“I tiptoed around him……” Castiel told, more to himself than to the actor……and the Angel was still smiling recalling the memories.  
“I expected guidance from him, and couldn’t accept it at the same time. I wanted to be close but not by his side…….. I was seeing him like one of my kind, but he wasn’t, never would be……… And he, he saw me as an Angel, untouchable and still, even to the opposite of what he was saying, as something without failure………  
Maybe that was the reason he allowed me so much without getting rid of me….”  
The smile got even brighter and Misha was drawn in with awe.   
That was an Angel, this was what he had missed in his character over the time. This wasn’t the clueless and clumsy, awkward creature more or less just standing by and waiting for a command. This was something else, a creature with the knowledge of thousands of years, a creature with the knowing of universal secrets no human could ever understand.  
“…..I was wrong on that………..” Castiel had moved on and Misha kind of woke of his hypnosis….. at least a bit..  
“I did not know that it was fear and there for emotions that hold me back that somehow trapped me and brought me to a point that I wasn’t even trying anymore. To a point were I was kneeling down and we were no longer equal……….” “Dean had expected me to give him guidance as well and I couldn’t. How? There was no way…….since I had realised I had been wrong for so long….”  
“It was the same between the brothers. But I have realised that the moment humans and, obviously angels as well, try to hide something, it will affect the surrounding and the once that are close, the once you love.”  
“In the best scenario they would wait for the insecure one to come clear, even risking that it might never happen but normally both sides are irritated and it often ends in separation and pain….”  
Misha stared at the creature in front of him, it was somehow no longer looking like him at all and the blue of it’s eyes had a slight glow in it that seem to hold all the answers in the world. The actor was drawn to it with such force that it almost hurt looking at it.  
“………how……..” Misha let out without even realising it.  
“I don’t….. I can’t……. I don’t know how…….it is…”  
Castiel tilted his head.  
“You are not afraid of being close………then what is it that brings the insecurity when the interactions between you two changed from leading to following and vise versa…….?”  
The deep voice ringed in Mishas head he wasn’t sure if the Angel had spoken, but he did start to think about what it was that hold him back that made him look like he was fearing Jensen to snap if he got to close or stepped at him to fast…  
The actor knew it had something to do with respect and the role image he had in mind for people like the dark blond but there was more……, he realised in surprise.  
Being around Jensen sometimes felt like being on insecure ground. And sometimes it felt like going along with a soul-mate in a different body……….  
Misha still stared at the glowing blue while figuring out what it was that made him insecure and it didn’t take long till his eyes widen and knowing dawned on the actor…  
It always got irritating when Jensen was making moves on him……  
When the dark blond started with his weird way of joking which always felt more like flirting or when the other actor was actually hitting on him even if it was him joking about. Was he joking? Was he serious, was he teasing was it to be trusted………?  
Misha shrugged back a bit, still looking at the Angel who was now sitting next like nothing had happened. No glowing eyes no dominant and knowing atmosphere around anymore, just the empty, devoted vessel Misha know from screen……   
For a brief moment he even wondered if he had hallucinated but the actor pushed it away and for some reason he was willing, in need to share what he thought he had realised just now…  
“I……don’t know what he is doing and how to react on that….. I know what to do if he is insecure, I know how to step to his side if he needs someone by his side but I cant handle when he is joking or hitting on me………..I haven’t……. I’ve ……. I don’t know how to handle being complimented or flirted at…” He stated to himself and the Angel, who was still watching in his unfazed view.  
“I……….I don’t have experiences with that….. I……….” The actor went on, suddenly a bit sweaty.  
He had married the first girl that had somehow saved his life, shown him he was something worth and lovable… he hadn’t experienced that to such extend before….  
And as it comes to Jensen, he still felt that a guy like that would never ever make a move on him or notice his existence if not to bully or mistreat him as he had experienced it some times in his life, especially in his youth. But it had happened and now ………  
“I have no experiences in that………male….to male stuff……..” Misha got out, still processing and surprised at that realisation.  
“I don’t like being played and dragged into the less leading position…… I don’t know what to do with this…..”  
It seemed as if his human version had a lot more conservative gender role ideas than expected, somehow similar to Dean the angel thought but he wondered.  
“So if you would have a more expanded data on that flirting and male related interactions it would allow you to get over your own insecurity about the respective situation…..?”  
The Angel was considering the possibilities of using that knowledge for himself and adding it to the social behaviour of human he had already collected.  
Misha was surprised…..by the heavenly creatures comment, at first, but again he thought about it.  
“………I….guess….maybe….” The actor wondered himself.  
He did not expect the reaction that followed….

The Angel leaned in all of a sudden and his gentle hand positioned beneath the look alike actors chin, subdue guiding him closer as the full lips sealed the other ones…in a soft and tender touch. 

None of them realising the dark blond hunter and his look alike actor, staring at the scene playing in front…

“Would that help expanding your data of knowledge and experience about interactions between male humans?” The Angel asked in all earnesty leaving misha with wide opened eyes to almost fall off the dining chair…

End part six  
___________________________________________________________________________


	7. Jensen vs. Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There could have been said sooooooo much more but it is late and i am tired.. ;P  
> Hope i still somehow hit the point and you be able to enjoy.
> 
> WARNING - mentioning of distress and indirect talk of suicide and or self harm!! - WARNING

Part seven – Jensen vs. Dean…….

Controlling them got less and less straight as the days goes by………… The hunter was very aware of that.  
He had realised how Sam was interacting with his impersonator and how he drifted away slightly and after seeing Cass kissing his human form there was no doubt this here was going out of hand………..  
Dean knew that and he also knew that they had to go, they needed to get back, they needed too…….. To the hunters frustration of not having found anything that could help them out there was a new fear building up. Being In this world, safe and comforting somehow had opened up opportunities they wouldn’t have under normal circumstances and Dean knew all to well how intriguing such a thing could be. He was a man who did not believe or thrust on first encounters of any kind, he had learned that the hard way more than once and the older Winchester got especially suspicious if it was offered without a rat tail or a price tag attached to it. He knew that the better it looked or felt the worse was the downfall and this here, this world was dangerous.  
Meeting their look alike’s had changed at least two of them already and Dean feared that they might would loose their newly developed and functioning closeness. And the dark blond was sure he would not be able to make that work. Not anymore. It had been one of the reasons he was restraining himself from every kind of relationship in the first place and the small attempts he had made to try it out never the less, had all ended in catastrophes. Just some of his former serious partners had survived barely. And now being that close with Sammy, with Cass, Dean wouldn’t be able to get over loosing them……… Not again, not anymore…..  
The hunter sighed as he watched his brother peacefully snoring in that clean bedsheet, the light from the outside caressing his calm face. He again was spread out over the whole space. Something the younger one had started to do not long ago….., another sign of comfort that worried the older Winchester. Something they would not be able to hold onto in their reality.

Jensen was still sitting at the dining table, a glass and a bottle of real good bourbon in front. He had watched the kiss between Misha and that angel bastard over and over in his head and the actor didn’t like it.  
At first he had tried to forget it, to ignore it. He had tried to get it over with but so far the actor had been unsuccessful. After that he hadn’t slept, to overwhelmed, to close to the cast mate and still kidnapped. Jensen had recognised that he wasn’t the only one.  
And the dark blond actor had realised something else, as well as Sam, he had seen the hunters frequent and absence during day and night exactly as what it was, Dean was running, Jensen thought. And he knew, since he would have done something similar…………  
His show character was restless and he slowly was getting nervous due to the fact that he wasn’t getting any closer to a solution how to get back……  
The younger guy, the Jared look alike had opened the sleeping room door, no longer locking it.  
At first Jensen had thought this was a good thing but he had soon realised it made him nervous that there was now another exit or entrance they could get attacked or surprised at any moment and it didn’t help to find sleep. 

And while every one else, aside this ‘angel’ was asleep, Jensen was staring at the bourbon, sitting on the big dining table.

Dean walked in at the actor, hesitating at the view for just a sec, but Jensen didn’t care anymore, he took another glass standing on the table and shook the rest water out of it, lifting it up into the air, still not looking at the hunter.  
………..  
Dean finally sat down next to the actor who was filling the juice glass with a good amount of bourbon…………  
The only thing Jensen had found at Jared’e apartment that came close to his current mood…..

Dean finally sat down, not looking at the other man on the other side of the table but gratefully taking the drink.  
They sat in silence for some time, each of them staring into their glasses.

“Bad night?” Dean finally is asking, circulating the amber coloured Liquid.  
“Shouldn’t you know that?!” Jensen bit back sarcastically and Dean chuckled at that.  
“Point…” Dean mentioned subdue and drowned down his glass in one long gulp.  
Jensen carefully watched that action.

“Your running…..” The actor mentioned.  
“What do you know?!” Dean snapped back.  
Jensen was no one to get into fights being sober, but first, he wasn’t sober right now and second this arrogant dark blond asshole slightly started to piss him off.  
“I know you!” He got out.  
“Yeah, sure…!!” Was Deans condescending answer.  
Jensen bites his cheek to bury down his anger…

Dean drinks again and huffs sarcastic and sad…… “You don’t know me at all…” And for the first time he is looking up…  
“….and obviously you don’t know yourself…..either.”

Jensen is offended and does not understand what that’s supposed to mean…  
But Dean is just eyeing the actor…., guessing how far that man would be willing to go himself if he would have been in his position and left with no other options than the limited ones that existed in a hunters life…  
“You are nothing more than a pampered actor…” The hunters dislike about the other man slightly beginning to show.  
Jensen felt offended but he also feared the aggressive asshole his show character could be.  
He clenched his teeth but didn’t say anything.  
“First…..” Dean went on.  
“This tall one…… Is he your brother?”  
Jensen thought about, considering his formulation, but Dean wasn’t the kind of guy open for a philosophical answer there for Jensen stayed with the truth.  
“No, he is one of my best friends.”  
Dean again made a sarcastic sound and grabbed the bottle refilling his glass.  
“Have you siblings at all…?” The hunter asked, serving the actor a drink as well.  
Jensen kept silent.  
“If they were in danger you would protect them right….” There was some kind of an evil smirk and a dark knowledge in the hunters green eyes as he was focusing on the actor.  
“Of course I would, every one would….!” Jensen was pissed, he didn’t wanted to go into that game.  
“…….but I would never fuck any of them…..!” Jensen was now attacking and he knew that.  
But he hadn’t done something wrong, he was not the one who had kidnapped someone, not the one who had killed so many people in one way or the other and he was definitely not the one who had crossed some ineffable lines for his own benefits because he couldn’t hold back some animal behaviouristic. There was disgust, anger and rejection glowing in the actors eyes. Who was his character to be so damn arrogant….  
Dean slowly sat the bottle back on the table and, slowly took another gulp from his glass.  
Jensen had expected the hunters aggressive personality to break out.  
But to his surprise it didn’t. Instead Dean looked at him and took another gulp.  
“How far would you go to protect, to help the ones you love….? I’ve heard you’ve got family…..what would you do if I would attack them….?”  
Jensen wasn’t sure if this was a threat but for some reason that example hit him. If his Show character would walk into his house, probably in hunter spirit or in one of his rages…….  
The similar emerald coloured eyes widened and Dean smiled at that gesture. Not kind, not amused, it was again this dark knowing showing on his face that left the actor alarmed.  
For sure he would get his children and wife out as fast as possible and probably he would grab a gun seeing a guy like Dean walking his house.  
This thought was somehow disturbing.  
Jensen had played that character, he knew of his try to stay on the good side, he knew about the hunters constant tries to protect the ones he loves. Although he still couldn’t combine this to any sexual encounter. Not with blood related loved ones and not with others…..  
And there was another problem or a few actually.  
Dean always tries and he often fails……  
No, Jensen wouldn’t want this person around his family at all.

Dean was watching the actor as his look alike was trying to view the hunter, the killer next to his family. And Dean could tell that it wasn’t working.  
He knew for some time now that a domestic life was something he could not have.  
After Lisa and Ben, after Cass erasing their memories, and after getting back to being a full time hunter, Dean had understand that their probably never would be such an opportunity for him. There would be no: “Hy honey…..i’m home. How was work going today?.....” There was no child walking up on him lifting the tiny arms, begging for being picked up and hold. Dean knew he could not have that, because sooner or later he would hurt them, he would hurt the once that were vulnerable and he would hurt those who would depend on him as well.  
Being around him was a curse and you needed to be cursed yourself to be able to stay and keep it together around him.  
Dean knew that and he had accepted it, although not make his peace with it.

The hunter did know what this actor guy who looked like him was thinking.  
He did not feel offended. He wouldn’t allow someone like him around his own family as well.  
But this actor guy seems to have this thought’s for the first time…  
It amused Dean seeing him struggle on that.  
It weakened the position the other dark blond had hold just a sec ago and there for it made the hunter more comfortable, again somehow controlling the scene.

Jensen took a sip from his glass. He was confused about that revelation. He always knew that his character might be someone to go into war with, and he also knew that the hunter could be a threat but he hadn’t seen him as such a danger he would willing get rid off if noticed somewhere.  
Dean took a sip on his own and grinned somehow sad, somehow lonely pouring down the next glass.

“You would protect your family, no matter what, even jumping into fire……… It’s how you are, how we are…..”  
Jensen wasn’t sure how far he actually would go but yeah, this protective behaviour they did have in common.  
The dark blond actor kept silent, now focused on the hunter that looked like him but wasn’t.  
“I can respect that….” Dean mentioned and poured himself another drink the bottle almost half emptied.  
“It felt like loosing ground, like falling apart, like…………dying….”  
The green eyed hunter stared in his liquid, recalling some memories Jensen had never have, probably.  
“Every time he wanders of or makes a ‘stupid’ decision. Every time when I see him walking through the door, turning away from me for some reason……… I feel like I get ripped apart.”  
“And yes, I do need him around, yes it is me who wants him close and also, yes, I was the one  
who basically forced him into that physical relation….”  
Jensen felt disgust but he didn’t said anything and he wouldn’t have a chance anyway since the hunter went on, even thought Jensen didn’t wanted to hear about his look alike and Jared’s impersonator having even anything close to sex…..  
“….but this isn’t a one sided thing….., and it wasn’t for my own benefit at all. I would not have chained my brother like that if I would have had all the opportunities you can choose from. But in our world…………., in our life…….. i……can’t.”  
Dean looked lost in thoughts at that moment, looking into his glass as if he could find any answers deep down there. 

“You said the tall one is your friend, …..one of your best friends….” Dean all of a sudden mentioned and looked up at the actor.  
Jensen nodded but kept silent still.  
“Did you know that Sam had sometimes a very self-destructive behaviour, mentality….. Or what ever you wane call it….. He, had more than once given up…….. Was close to just …..you know, jump over the ‘cliff’”  
Deans hand, holding the glass slightly started shaking and the hunter needed the other one to keep it steady.  
“He was slipping through my fingers……….and I couldn’t help him….. I could feel is pain and agony,…..but I couldn’t help him……”  
Jensen’s eyes widened at that information, remembering some times he had helplessly had to watch as Jared had broke down, loosing himself and struggling within….  
As he had stood beside him, unable to reach him, unable to help……and the actor did remember how he had felt at that times, how he still was fearing those moments to come back….  
Dean rubbed his nose in an annoyed gesture, trying to burry the subdued sniff that escaped him.  
The hunters eyes were slightly red and shiny as he went on.  
“….he was slipping through my fingers…… I was assigned to protect him, to keep him save,….and he was slipping through my fingers…..”  
Jensen at that moment felt a stinging pain, a heavy feeling that sometimes got him thinking about dying in a plane crash and leaving his family behind, his daughter, the twins, his wife……  
He rushed taking down the rest of his drink and grabbed the bottle to refill.  
Dean watched that with interest and slightly lifted his glass.  
There obviously was something more they had in common, something more the hunter could respect.  
Jensen hesitated but finally lifted his glass as well and clink them together before both gulped the alcohol down in one swift move.  
“I couldn’t loos him…..” Dean went on.  
“He is all I have, he is my family, he is my hold, he is my everything…….and I have done what I thought was the only option I had…… I chained him…”  
“I chained him to me……….”  
Dean sighed and gestured for more bourbon.  
“I couldn’t help him other wise…….., and loosing him,……………….it will never be an option!”  
Jensen was thinking about what the brothers at the show had been through……. For him it was a loooooooooooooooooooong line of story’s, ups and downs and a lot drama. But it wasn’t his life. He did not need to hold all of it together even though he had tried that as well. But Jared had found help on the outside, he had get the right treatment, he had his family and even though Jensen was still helping the younger one with his anxiety’s now and then it also was Jared helping him to understand that indeed there was a limit for him to help and that indeed there were things he couldn’t do and that is was ok….  
But Dean……, Sam…..there was no help somewhere else, there was no stable background anymore that might have been Bobby early on. There was no family either of them could turn to in case of need, there was only them…., two brothers carrying each load on their shoulders without any break within their life. No human could handle that, no human could carry another, not on his own……  
“I needed a connection, one so deep that I would be able to hold him in times of his ‘weakness’, in times he would loose himself again…. I needed that partner like connection to hold Sam sane and no matter what you or any other might think about that………so far, it is working…..”

Dean got another gulp, his view somewhere fare away and Jensen looked at him……  
He did know that feeling even though not for Jared in general but he did understand what it felt like to feel someone losing it and not being able to help at all.  
He wasn’t able to help Jared as he was breaking down either, and he did remember how it felt seeing this awesome man this vulnerable and lost and ‘almost’ gone……  
Jensen took another deep sip from his drink. It almost overwhelmed him just thinking at that time.  
“What…….what did you do………..i mean when Sam was….lost? Befor…you did the other thing…” It was the first time that Jensen actually stepped into the conversation.  
“Why?” Dean asked sceptical.  
“I just……It’s…..Jared also have those…or had those times. I mean he is smart, he is clever and ‘disgustingly’ intelligent…” Jensen mentioned slightly smiling.  
“But than, there are times he just seemed so far gone, he is telling that he feels fat, or dumb, or worthless and it always seems like that he is actually believing this. He is one of the finest man I know and he is punishing himself so badly……… It………I can’t watch this but I can’t stop him either…….I…..”  
“………don’t know how to help the one you love…..” Dean calmly finished and got another sip from the bourbon.  
Jensen remained silent but he slowly nodded and Dean mirrored that gesture.  
“……The sad truth is…..” The hunter started, staring at his glass in his hand again.  
“…I couldn’t, I was destined to watch him drown, to watch how he was punishing himself…….. Sometimes I thought it would have been easier seeing him just pushing the knife into his heart…….and then just follow him………..”  
Jensen was terrified at that confession…..  
“But in the end we had just moved one…….and it was torture for both of us, me watching and him going through, what ever he had in his mind…..that was slowly destroying him, driving him into self-destruction….”  
“And than I couldn’t anymore….. He had lost his gentle view on the world, he had lost his interest in learning, he wasn’t able to see through the darkness he had around him and…..i didn’t know what else I……….. “  
“That night……, that first night…………….. We were on a hunt…….we were out….somewhere, nowhere……………”  
Deans voice seem to fade away as he went on…#  
“I had found him………… He had………there was blood every where…. I was afraid, I was angry and I panic..” Dean was deeply lost in that memory.  
“I gave him an option and he cried and pleaded to be killed…….. He blamed me for pulling him back….. And I made a decision, i told him………….. I took away his right on his own decisions…… I ensured that he wouldn’t be able to make any decision on his own……  
I forced him down…………, I broke him………. And he became my property…….., someone who I would decide for…….and it stayed like that for some time…..”  
“…”  
Jensen did not know what to say to that, he did not know what to make out of that…..  
He just didn’t know.  
“I sometimes felt small to him, you know….” Dean somehow changed the subject, drinking again.  
“Not because he is tall….not only because of that but…..he always was the stronger one, I thought. The one intelligent one, the one that might got away, out of this live…… And than I brought him back………” There actually was a tear welling up, Jensen could tell.  
“He was the stronger one………..And if he wouldn’t make it……what kind of chances would be there for me?”  
“He always was the one with ambitions….” Jensen went in all of a sudden, thinking on Jared’s ability to switch between a man child and a business man, between a gently giant and an angry moose.

Dean stared at the actor and smiled, lifting his glass and for the second time this day they clinked their drinks.  
“Do you support the other ond,…..this Jared?” The hunter asked curious.  
Jensen just shrugs his shoulders. “Sure…..but I really had to learn to let him go on his own as well, he is no child…….even though I tried to hoard him like one sometimes…since I wasn’t the one that could work him through……. It is weird being the older but not the smarter one, at least not on that level and in the way Jared is…”  
For that the hunter nodded, because he did know very well…  
“I try to allow Sammy to go….but……it’s tough.” Dean mentioned, refilling both of there juice glasses.  
“How long do you two know each other?” Dean asked and Jensen explains that they were hanging out together almost 13Years…  
And Dean is nodding again.  
“I do know Sammy all my live. I was supposed to be his caretaker, I was supposed to be his hangman and I was the one trying to get the attention of a father whose attentions always was on the son that left us….” Dean chuckled at that and got another gulp.  
“Man I’m screwed….” The hunter decided and lifted his glass again.  
“On the screwed once…” He cheers to himself and happily drowned another rest, emptying the glass once again.

Jensen watched the other dark blond pensively.  
Slowly he started to understand, not to accept tho, the hunters motives. It is another world, they live under different circumstances, with different options and different oportunitys…  
Gradually both men were reaching a level of unfiltered truth…, due to the alcohol slightly going through their system.  
And Jensen finally asked about something he was very curious about, for what ever reason…..

“…..ok…I maybe get that….Sam…thing. Not ok with it…..but get it…”  
“But, what …..why with Mi-……Cass?”  
Dean smiled brightly, amused since that could be a question of his own.  
And then, he turned at the actor, lifting his newly filled glass to his lips.  
“What is it that draws you to this other guy..?”

“There is nothing……” Jensen tries but Dean huffs out a sarcastic. “…Yeah sure!”  
And Jensen went silent for a sec before starting over.  
“I asked first…”  
Dean is looking again into the amber liquid.  
“….He saved me….” He simply stated.  
“We both know that we need a safe haven. That we can’t carry all the problems of the world, that we do need someone strong to lean on, a place to feel safe. And don’t tell me it is not…..”  
“I was fighting my whole life, I was entrusted with way to heavy responsibility as long as I can think of…… I was trying to manage a family that never was one……”  
“Cass,….Cass was the first one that ever, aside Sammy, had my back……….. He was an Angel, you know something strong, powerful, able to care for himself and ………he was the first one reminding me what I had missed all my live.”  
“I don’t know how your guy is but our Angel was constantly around, always by my side and just a call, a prayer away….. Someone I could lean on, depend on.”  
Jensen slightly nodded, he could go with this.  
“He was someone I could somehow lean on………. Without leaning on….if this makes any sense”  
Dean questioned but the actor on the other side of the table just nodded.  
Hell, he did understand very well. Daneel was strong, his family was strong and there were a lot of people he could lean on, and Jensen needed that, sometimes just needed other to show the way not expecting anything from him aside following.  
As Dean had put it, leaning on without really leaning on….  
The hunter went on.  
“I hate hook ups, you know that……..? It is an act with a short benefit and even less satisfying, and I always wanted to have a stable family, you know. House, garden odd boring work, night at home and a loving wife………….but even this I couldn’t handle. I had to face it…… I am to broken to have that.”  
“I have to many fears of loosing people I love. But instead of training them to be able to take care of them self I tried to hold them away from this live……Well know what, that isn’t working either. You can not protect each and every one, not in my world not as a hunter, and because of that you get overwhelmed at this job, you become aggressive if the people around you aren’t willing to follow your orders, and instead of being a loving father and husband, you become an insecure, overprotective commander. I know now I would destroy those who would try to love me. I either would hold them in constant fear of me or what might could be out there. And that is not a life……….for no one, especially those you love for real……”

Jensen wondered if there could be a connection to his own anxiety’s not to see his family again. Or to loose one of them or not being there while something happened.  
He could understand the overwhelming feeling that comes with that.  
And the actor could guess how it would be if he wouldn’t have his strong wife and family and friends to step in in times of need…..and how his own anxiety would probably affect every on around.  
Again he realised that Dean did not have any of that…., when it comes to a working social background.

“I couldn’t do it anymore it destroyed me as well and in the end I always had to leave……… Back again, to Sam, the one I had to protect but who was able to do 50% of the job himself……”  
You know……. It still was me trying to hoard him and to control the situations but Sam had proofed he could work with me and still accept me and since he was trained as well it was less a burden for me.”  
But I still couldn’t lean on him since it was my job to be the leading one, the one without mistakes or failure…..” “The one in charge….”  
Dean laughed shortly and sad at his words, and took another sip.

And than there was Cass, always around, tremendously loyal and emotionless, and not spooked off at anything I said and or did…………it was so easy, so uncomplicated.”  
Dean turned at his identical image.  
“It was freeing……….”  
He looked a bit ashamed. But Jensen did very much understand.  
The urge of letting go, not being the protector, being able to step out of the own confined existing and roles, yes the actor could understand, it was part of what he liked about his job.

But Jensen sobered up a bit as Dean suddenly blushed and looked back into his glass.  
“I didn’t thought of……..” you know….. “ Dean couldn’t say it either and again Jensen was thankful for that.  
“….it……just happened…….i was weak and ….don’t know. I wanted,……. for once not have to be the one in charge, I wanted, I needed to let go……… just fall but not die at it….” Dean circled his glass.  
Both men just set on the table for some time, not talking, both lost in their own thoughts. 

It was Jensen who finally started again.  
“I don’t like being in front of big crowds.” Jensen confessed. “Especially if ha have to say something not scripted.”  
Dean looks surprised raising one brow..  
“You’re and actor man, that’s odd…”  
“You like wearing pink satiny female slips….don’t judge…” Jensen got back.  
“Jared had often pushed me into situation were I could not step away from that anxiety and Mish…..”  
“He had always be there, saving me when I got overwhelmed at the situation. He had been there, always ready to step in, changing the subject or just calming me instantly…”  
Jensen looked at the hunter who slightly smiled. Yes, he could relate to that.

“I like him….” Jensen finally subdued, answering the hunters question.  
“And I don’t know what it is…… He makes me nervous and insecure but In a good way, it is as if he is looking right through me, like he knew me but he never says anything about it. He is,… there is something about his free mind I ……adore.”  
It feels like he is walking above all strict rules without breaking them…. Stuff that makes me nervous or terrifies me he doesn’t seem to fear at all, and he isn’t sitting at home he is constantly on the run……….and sometimes I wish I could be a bit more like that…..i guess.”

Dean nodded, not looking up.  
“Angels man, they are dicks…….”  
Both men chuckled at that.

“Then why do you want to go back anyway?”  
Jensen couldn’t understand it.  
Dean turned at him……watching him carefully  
“There is nothing else we have.” He just stated, focusing back on his drink and gulping it down whole again.  
Jensen stared at the look alike, there was a sudden understanding crossing his mind.  
Trying to figuring out his own life purpose had been a struggle for him as well over the years. But he had been lucky…… for some reason meeting and finding the persons he need at the time he needed them.  
The ways or opportunitys opening up right on time.  
Not that he hadn’t worked hard on it himself but there always had been guidance and help, strong roots and Background to keep him going even though he wasn’t sure were to at some times….

Part of that he could see in this Dean, right now……. The hunter was going, just going, maybe afraid of what would happen if he stopped for just a moment, looking back and seeing nothing but dead and loss that had followed him his whole life.  
Jensen got a bit emotional and he hated it, he could be thankful and blessed for the strong people he had around in his life. He was in no need the carry others life like Dean obviously was trying by holding the two people he need as close as possible………  
The hunter looked at the actor whose eyes were a bit shiny and it wasn’t because of the drinks or because it was late…

“Man don’t pity me…..that’s ridiculous…….” Dean huffed out in irritation.  
“Im not pitiying anyone….” Jensen snapped back a bit offended, being read that easy and being caught in a moment he was showing emotions.  
Dean shook his head.  
“You prefer being the strong one around as well hm?!” “You know that this is to hide own fears and insecurities right?!”  
Dean grinned. It was a way to get himself together by turning the subject on someone else, interesting that the impersonator on the other side of the table had that issue as well.  
And it was refreshing to be the one analysing something but Dean had to admit that he wasn’t used to talking like that, this was Sammy’s territory, while he could already feel the headache he would get out of that.

The hunter chuckled at that though….  
“Shut up!” the Actor bluffed, completely forgotten that he was still kidnapped and still hold captive…..  
Both men stared at the table in front, mirroring each others gestures unknowingly.

It was Jensen who talked next. “Do……do you restrain yourself? ….i mean do you…”  
“…..What…hold back and don’t give in at what I really want or need…..?” Dean asked sarcastic, looking up.  
None of them answered but both knew………  
“one more?” Jensen asked and took the bottle…..

Jensen often holds back around Fans, around officials and other important or higher persons….. either out of respect and or worry to say something wrong….  
It had taken a long time to feel comfortable enough around fans while being on stage to make jokes for himself or tease on his cast mates, and it was still a big issue for him doing panels on his own.  
Jensen knew that it had shown within the past whenever he got uncomfortable he started getting a bit offensive and aggressive and that he immediately calmed if one of the co-stars showed up…  
And it was still that he was more comfortable in the second row than right in front even though he liked to be right up front………..but fearing to do something wrong, not for himself but for any one else was just to much to handle or burden.  
But in contrast to the actor, Dean wasn’t able to step out of the constant burden or threat that was lasting on his shoulders…..  
Again Jensen was thankful for his background, for his family and the stability they offered and even more for the chance to let go and relax around the strong people he had in his live who were able to hold him if needed and taking over if he would needed a pause even though he would never show or asked for it himself, which was, to think about it, stupid but part of his behaviouristic pattern as well.

The actor poured both of them another drink.  
Both men sitting in front of each other, in silence lost in their own or identical thoughts.  
And both of them drinking, to get rid of them…

___________________________________________________________________________


	8. All things come to an end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, there will be some content this time, not all will agree on or accept, please remember it is a fictional Story completely based on my own perception and nothing more or less.
> 
> Ok! That took way to long to get finished and it isn’t exactly what i had in mind.  
> But the end was planed like that, mostly…  
> Even though i wasn't quite in the right mind set for that but i needed to Close this.  
> It was a bit of a rush to finish it now.  
> However in attempt to clean out a bit and dust off some story and finally finish them this is part of it.  
> I hope it is an acceptable outcome of the whole face to face situation…  
> ^^)  
> Thank you all for reading it and following in that deep.

Part eight

All Things come to an end...

That night Jared scrolled to some pictures on his phone Sam had given back to him.  
While looking at his kids and wife on different occasions, laughing, crying or just napping, the actor started to think about it, his characters devotion to nothing else then others.  
Jared thought about what the, still young man had sacrificed, what Sam had given up in order to live a life of solitude and danger at his brothers side.  
Jared thought about it, absently touching the screen showing his boys playing.  
This life he was living as the character Sam was a tough one the actor thought. He was often away from home, often tired and exhausted but at least this place he called home and the peace offered there, exist.  
His life and that of his family wasn’t threatened all the time, Jared wasn’t living on the edge of death almost every time but he did understand it, probably more than he was willing to admit.  
The tall actor thought about what he would have done to survive under these circumstances……….., would he have tried, would he have given up……? Jared couldn’t answer and in this world it was good that he didn’t need to anyway.  
But he got it….., somehow he started to accept and maybe understand why this Sam was able or even in need to turn to the only other person in his live, why he ended up in a relationship with his brother…………..  
For this man, the hunter that looked like his Sam character from the show, there was no other option left, no other place or person he could turn to in case of need of closeness.  
Jared knew pretty well where he would be right now without this hold of his family and just imagining that he would have been alone to that extend was heartbreaking and devastating.  
The actor concentrated right back to his family pictures…….  
There was something he wanted to do for the guy that kind of become part of his life as well….

\---------

Jensen was a bit more than tipsy as he smiled at the Angel still pacing the floor in order to watch over them. Castiel slightly tilted his head, by now seeing the differences between his hunter and the human from this world, but he gently smiled back.  
He had overheard the whole conversation but wasn’t going to mention that, Dean and Sam had explained that it was very impolite to overhear some ones private talks, but since the Angel could not tune them out as easy as the Angel-radio, he just didn’t mentioned what he had heard.

Jensen still felt weird around this Misha Version. A real Angel, yes for sure but….still weird.  
Jared looked up as his friend silently walked in and closed the door behind.  
“Got it back?” Jensen asked, gesturing at the younger ones phone.  
Jared was scrolling over some pictures and typing something.  
“I hope it is an e-mail to the police…..?” The dark blond mentioned.  
“Can’t go online, no card.” Jared gestured apologetic.  
But Jensen hadn’t thought that the hunters would be that reckless anyway.  
Misha was turning his head at the dark blond.  
“You ok?” Jensen smiled at that question.  
There he was, the guy who was the weirdest person Jensen knew, aside his wife, and the one guy that made him smile the moment he showed up.  
The strongest, weak dork Jensen could imagine.  
Jared and Misha alike looked at the cast mate in irritation as Jensen just stood their and smiled.  
Jared finally shrugged his shoulders looking at the other dark haired laying next to him, who seemed as confused as him.

“You do know that I like you right?” Jensen suddenly started, just a bit drownsy.  
“I do like you….., a lot…” The Actor went on.  
“I really do…”  
Jared slightly chuckled at that weird/ odd ‘outburst’.

The blue eyed had sat up as Jensen had started to speak to him. It seemed as if it was something important and it felt not correct to only lay back and stare.  
Jensen was scratching his neck, a gesture of insecurity that was only topped by the one when the younger Actor was covering his face and or eyes in embarrassment.  
Jared was watching as careful as Misha and the Youngest had even stopped working on his phone.  
This Jensen speak he didn’t want to miss. He knew the happy drunk, and the honest drunk, and the rarely unrestrained drunk the other guy could be.  
Hell they had beating the shit out of each other once or twice while being slightly dozed.  
This here could be interesting.  
“You know that right…?” Jensen asked once again, referring to his earlier words.  
Misha was smiling, calm but irritated as well.  
“I do know…” He assured but he didn’t seem completely convinced.  
“No seriously man…, I…”  
Now it got awkward and the older Actor did decide to get up, getting a bit closer and patting the dark blond Colleague on his shoulder.  
Jared rolled his eyes at that known clumsy interaction the two grown adults sometimes, often showed around each other.

But this time it didn’t end there. Jensen suddenly, still clumsy, rocked a surprised Misha into his arms and held him tight for some confusing moments, before the blue eyed finally relaxed and gave back the hug.  
“I know…” He answered subdued.

Within seconds Jared was up and mounting the two elder Actors, almost crushing them down in his enthusiastic, child like move. He was laughing as his long arms pulled them both in and squeezed them hard.  
“I like you too, both of you…” The Actor was chilping, destroying the moment and the awkwardness of it.

\-------------------

The three men stayed up long that night. They listened to the Angels silent moves, only realizable due to the slight flatter of his coat every time he was passing the door.  
They listened as Dean talked to his Angel ones more before closing the Room he was sharing with his brother, a circumstance that was still a bit off but more and more acceptable.  
It was an hour later, after that last sound, as the Actors were still awake and as they started talking about the whole Situation they were in right now.

“They need to get back…” It was Misha who stated what all of them already knew. Not that they didn’t want to help, and not that they weren’t worried and yeah, maybe pitying them as well, but the Hunters, an Angel…, there was no way they should, could stay in this Reality.  
It was not right and even though it was completely abstract scenario, it felt right to make that decision, it felt right to send the poor guys back, to keep them going in a nightmare World.  
The Characters had to go, they needed to be somewhere else, not here…

The moment they were talking about that, if felt like a farewell, and it did hurt to think of the Brothers and the Angel as gone and past.  
Jensen was thinking about the similar Situation with the Show.  
They had been part of this for almost all of their growing life. They had up’s and down’s, they had experienced so many things on this way, they had grown up, they had become adults, husbands, fathers…  
Something the Winchesters would never have, something an Angel would never have.  
And yes, it was time to separate their ways.  
They would not, they could not carry the Characters with them as well as the things that had connected them on that level, all Actors knew.  
But they had become colleagues, they had become friends, they really had become family.

Jensen looked over at the tallest Child he had ever met.  
Jared was crossing his arms behind his head and turned at the stare that was showing in the dimmed light of the night.  
“What?” The younger one wondered.  
“They have to go…” Jensen repeated sadly but gently smiling.  
“It’s been 13 Years guys…” He went on.  
“Almost…” Misha stepped in to correct it for himself.

\-------------------

Life means changes, good and bad ones. It was time to have a life, a different one, to life it fully and on their own.  
And yes, they would probably loose a bit contact, they would be further away somehow, but there was hope, that what ever they had experienced, helped to create over the years, would be strong enough to stay. That the Winchesters would still make it, moving on, always, ever, even though locked in their small World, without any real way out as long as they would not change, which they couldn’t.  
But still there was hope…  
Hope that the bond the Actors had build and the Brothers had found, would stay as well, no matter how far away they would be or what would happen to all of them from now on.  
No matter how much time would pass until they would have time together again…

\-------------------

“I would like him to have something to hold onto…” Jared mentioned all of a sudden.  
“I mean, yeah they have to get back to where ever they had come from but…, I want Sam to have something to hold onto…”  
The youngest but tallest Actor in the group, guessed aloud and the other watched.

“What would it be?” Misha asked curiously, staring at the ceiling.  
They had no idea how to get the Show Characters back, hell they didn’t even know how to get out of this apartment at the moment.  
But here they were, kidnapped and held captive and philosophize about a hypothetical situation that for some, completely inexplicable reason had become real.  
“I want to give him some pictures. Tom and Chep playing…”  
“Wow, that’s personal.” Jensen stated, supporting his upper body on his elbows and lifting himself from the bed that only Jared and Mish had shared before and which the dark blond had tried to stay away as far as possible all the time.  
“Why?” The Texan actor asked.  
“I don’t know, it is just, I think it can help, it is something he deserves. You know…, to know that somewhere else, under different condition he had that life, that he was able to have it, functioning enough and good enough to have it, the family he is still missing out on, still yearning for. And that there is a reason to move on, somewhere…” Jared seemed in his own thoughts as he answered.  
But both of the other men nodded in understanding since they could relate to that, even though they did not feel the same for their Characters behind the walls surrounding them.

“It feels like discussing a farewell…” Misha mentioned after a moment of silence.  
“Well, it kind of is, or will be.” Jared stated thoughtful.  
Jensen was thinking, with Season 13 to be the possible last Season of the Show, it would be exactly that.  
They would have to say farewell to so many of the people whom had walked the way with them and it was a terrifying thought.

But as the dark blond was looking over to Jared and Misha, his Cast mates, his friends, who were slightly chuckling at a comment Jensen had missed.  
He actually could see it.  
He could see them being fine…

They had learned, they had grown up to the Show. They had learned a lot about themselves, not only through their Characters but at least a bit.  
They were now fearing, crying and worrying as and for the Roles they were playing for so long.  
Jensen realized, that Dean indeed was part of himself to some degree, and he was it with all of the Hunters issues and habits, with all of his heart and mind, and maybe, just maybe with all of the aggression as well.  
But he was just a part of him…  
And he was realizing something else while Jared and Misha were still joking about something.  
They were somehow, connected and depending on each other just like the Winchesters and their Angel.  
Jensen smiled, thinking that this was a nice definition of their on and off screen ‘friendship’, even though they all had own life’s, fortunately.  
But the dark blond also thought he could get it now, what so many people were seeing in those, sometimes pitiful Brothers, how they could suffer with and for the Hunters and the Angel. And he thought he could live with it, if he could cry imagining to loose either a Sam or a Castiel on the Show, than yeah, he got it, that they weren’t the only ones who had grown with the Winchesters…and Jensen also thought, he maybe could appreciate the Memory that would hold up for the somehow, locked Hunters that were fighting a never ending fight to make a better world, for a family they themselves would never have aside the one next to, they would blood and cry for and with…

Maybe theatre, maybe directing, maybe family…, Jensen thought.  
Live with someone not for someone, as the brothers and their Angel were destined to do, he thought, thankful that they would be allowed to move one, separated from the Hunters and still connected to a huge part of their life.

They would be fine.  
Jensen knew they would be fine, even after this would be over, because in contrast to the Winchester Brothers and their Angel, they would have options, opportunities, a life they could choose and work on…

\-------------------

As Jared turned to asked something to Jensen, Misha stared at the Ceiling.  
He had played this Angel role for so long. Unimaginably long for an Actors career.  
He had started off strong but the blue eye had to admit that over the Years he had felt a bit disgusted now and then for this role of a real stupid, incompetent Angel he had somehow nailed intuitively.  
Misha Collins wasn’t sure what to think about that.  
But he was recalling what this ‘Angel’ had said to him, had tried to explain, and even if only for one Human to understand.  
There was a loneliness Castiel was living with, a misfit existence, closed up from paradise he ones had called home.  
In the Angel destiny there lies a tragedy that would have cost most people this generous, gentle view on life, and would have them left in fear and desperation.  
But Castiel, in the end had decided to play the fool to get as close as possible to the humans he now would call his family.  
He could end them, still, he could destroy the fragile bond that mortals were holding to in order to feel a connection. And even though knowing that he would be left alone in the end, Castiel was gracefully trying to keep pace by lowering himself so far that he was almost loosing himself to keep the Humans at ease.

Misha was wondering what was twisted in this Creatures mind but being connected to almost everything on earth, to have an understanding of Creation and it’s functioning, seeing it’s fragility and short lifetime, maybe even it’s end.  
The dark haired Actor thought about the meaning the result of carrying such a Burden, being a Giant in a world of ants, and he was thinking about the effort of restrain living among them.  
Maybe he had underestimated the Angel at some point, maybe there was more to those sad, lonely eyes that often looked so empty and lost…  
Misha was sure, he had created that part of Castiel, and maybe he was carrying way more sadness in his own heart then he was willing to accept.  
Maybe he was looking at a part of himself, a part he had always carried and that was still looking for his purpose, for his place in this weird, surprising world…?  
But the Actor knew, knew for a long time, that he had been saved, that his wife, his life and finally his kids, his friends and Family, were his purpose, his reason in life. That he had an anchor of the good kind, roots to hold him, to gave him strength to move, to fly as far as he could.  
All of it his character would never have, would never understand. And still, coming from so little, working with even less, Castiel was trying, he was really trying…  
And he was still there, side by side with the unknown Species human he had chosen for his tribe, against the paradise he had known.  
For sure, this was something that needed greater strength than Misha hadn’t given the Angel.  
The Angel would be lost for all of his eternity but Misha, him, he would be fine…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean woke suddenly, immediately reaching to his side, the one where Sam had to be.  
The younger Winchester mumbled in discomfort at his sleeping interruption.  
He didn’t wake though but turned to the other side.

Dean held the connection, his hand resting on his brothers back as he slowly calmed from the nightmares that had threatened him once again.  
This world was playing with his mind and they needed to get out, somewhere soon.  
It took am moment for the Hunter to realise that he had grabbed for his gun, that he was holding it forcefully, almost painful tightening his fingers around the grip.

He needed a break, he wouldn’t get back to sleep anyway.  
The dark blond slowly got up, to not wake Sam as he opened the door in attempt to get the left over Bourbon his Look alike had left at the kitchen table.  
Dean looked back at his snoring sibling as he stepped out of the room, directly hitting into the Angel.

Castiel looked a bit spooked as he scanned the Hunter for any kind of injuries or defects that would needed his attention, his care.  
Slowly, and still distracted by the blue eyes running up and down his body, Dean started to realize the changes.

There wouldn’t be a Bourbon on some Kitchen counter, there would not be a group of Impersonators in the next room. Right`?  
The dark blond asked their ally who only shook his head.

Dean looked around, the dimmed light on the hallway, the concrete, piled walls, all of it so familiar, so real.  
The hunter touched the doorframe as the new situation slowly sunk in.  
They were home…  
They were at the bunker, in Kansas again, in a world full of Monsters they would fight…  
There was a short hesitation before Dean grabbed the Angel, pulling him in and sealing the surprised blue eyed’s lips with a desperate Kiss.  
Cass was there, Sam was there. They would not leave him behind, not here, not in this world, not were he needed them by his side.  
Castiel slightly smiled and followed as Dean walked back into the room, THEIR room, as he did wake Sam and kissed the sleepily fighting back brother.  
“Where home..!” The Hunter whispered in excitement.  
“Sam, were back!”  
“What?...” The younger Winchester needed a moment to wake up enough to understand what his Brother had just mentioned.  
“When….How?” Sam questioned as he got up his eyes still half closed.  
“No clue, but were back…” Dean gave subdued, kneeling on the bed, looking at his beloved brother.

“I love you more than my life, you are the reason…” The older Winchester mentioned, nodding in assurance at his realization.  
Sam was finally awake enough to properly face his older Brother.  
He smiled slightly as he answered.  
“I know… You’re mine too.”

Castiel was watching his Humans in fascination, still scanning the surrounding for any potential threat or traces of a worked spell as he realized something next to Sam, and pointing it out to the Brothers.

Sam turned in curiosity at his phone that was laying next to his pillow.  
There was a message from an unknown number.  
And the hunter frowned as he opened it.  
His eyes widened as he realized the two boys that were happily playing in some yard chasing a third one running around. And there were two girls surrounded by some even younger children, all of them were sitting on a blanket in the grass.  
There was just a short note given with the picture and Sam read it with some tears in his voice.

_“They will be fine…! And you had a share in it. Keep fighting…”_

End…

**Author's Note:**

> Looking for a Beta!!!!
> 
> Hy guys............i am really really looking for a beta!!!! And as you probably have realised for damn good reason.  
> SOoooooooooo again, if anyone is available, able and interested it would help me a lot to really learn the language....
> 
> i am not talking of ABO stuff ^^!


End file.
